Easter Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Heavenly Blondes

    Hot 5 months ago

    Three blondes died and found themselves standing before Saint Peter at the gate to heaven. St. Peter said to them, “Before you may enter the gates of heaven you have to tell me what Easter is. ”
    The first blonde said, “Easter is a holiday where we all have a big feast and we’re thankful. ”
    St. Peter said, “NO! ” and banished her from heaven.
    The second blonde said, “Easter is a holiday where we celebrate Jesus’ birth and give each other presents. ”
    St. Peter said, “NO! ” and banished her from heaven.
    The third blonde said, “I know what Easter is. ”
    St. Peter said, “Ok then, tell me. ”
    She starts, “Easter is Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with his disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him. The Romans hung him on the cross where he died. Then they buried him in a tomb behind a large boulder. ”
    St. Peter said, more...

    Three Muslims died and went to Heaven. When they approached the gate, St. Peter said "Sorry, only Christians are allowed in Heaven."

    The Muslims said "But we are good Christians!"

    St. Peter replied "Okay, if you're good Christians then tell me what is Easter?"

    The first Muslim went up to St. Peter and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a white bunny suit and hopped around delivering eggs to children!"

    St. Peter shook his head, and said "Next!"

    The second Muslim guy then came up and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a red and white suit and flied around delivering presents to good children!"

    St. Peter sighed, and said "Next!"

    So the last Muslim guy comes up to old St. Peter and says "Oh, I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man more...

    Equal?

    Hot 4 years ago

    "Equal" is not always synonymous with "the same." Men and women are created equal; but boys and girls are not born the same.
    1. You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose.
    2. You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she'll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later. You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll somehow find every mud puddle from your
    home to the church, even if you're driving there.
    3. Boys' rooms are usually messy. Girls' rooms are usually messy, except it's a good smelling mess.
    4. A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made. A baby boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a gun.
    5. When girls play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to dress them up and play house with them. When boys play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they more...

    Boy 1

    Hot 2 months ago

    Boy 1: "How did you get that bruise on your arm?" Boy 2: "I ate some Easter candy." Boy 1: "Eating Easter candy won't give you a bruise." Boy 2: "It will if it's your big brother's candy!"

    15. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
    16. Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, but from a distance, he looked like a bear.
    17. Leave out a Santa suit, with an attached dry-cleaning bill.
    18. Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue for personal injury.
    19. Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.
    20. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us.

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