Easier Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Top 15 Good Things About a Cold Winter... The melodious clanging Anna Nicole Smith's breasts make when she walks. BATF calls off its siege of your heavily fortified compound when agents run out of hot cocoa. Much easier to locate nipples during foreplay. Finally, a chance to say, "Yeah, but it's a dry cold." Natural refrigeration keeps vagrants crisp and fresh until Spring. You can chill your malt liquor on the window ledge at work. Joy of frostbite makes it easier to rid your self of those troublesome extremities. No news clips of the President jogging for at least 8 more weeks. Watching O. J. enviously eye everyone else's toasty-warm glove-clad hands. Flashers stick to describing themselves. Spouse temporarily stops using back seat of car for elicit affairs. When it's 10 below, nobody gives a rat's ass whether Internet Explorer is better than Netscape. With multiple layers, people with buns of steel look exactly like people with buns of cinnamon. The shivering just makes more...

    Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call
    to her real number.
    Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to
    "I love you."
    Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
    When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd
    appear in a little box in the corner of the screen
    during a time-out.
    Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle,
    you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.
    Birth control would come in ale or lager.
    You'd be expected to fill your resume with gag names of people you'd worked
    for, like "Heywood J'Blowme."
    Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of
    your choice.
    The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
    "Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an more...

    "If Men TRULY Ruled the World!"...
    Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the behind and a "Nice hustle, you'll get'em next time" would pretty much do it.
    Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.
    On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking. Mother's Day too.
    St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month.
    Regis and Kathie Lee would be chained to a cement mixer and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative pay-per-view event in world history!
    The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle".
    Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer-biceps".
    Tanks would be far easier to rent.
    Two words..."Ally McNaked".
    Birth control would come in ale or lager.
    Garbage would take more...

    "Let me get this straight," the prosecutor said to the accused, "you came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man."
    "That's right," replied the accused.
    "Upon which," continued the prosecutor, "you took out a pistol and shot your wife, killing her."
    "That's right," the accused said.
    "Then my question to you is, why did you shoot your wife and not her lover?" the prosecutor asked.
    "It seemed easier," replied the defendant, "than shooting a different man every day!"

    * Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.
    * Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."
    * Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
    * If your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
    * Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the behind and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.
    * Birth control would come in ale or lager.
    * You'd be expected to fill your resume with gag names of people you'd worked for, like "The Lone Ranger."
    * Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of your choice.
    * The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
    * "Sorry I'm late, but I was out getting wasted last night" would be an acceptable more...

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