Dutch Jokes

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    CULTURAL DIFFERENCES

    Hot 3 years ago

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH
    1. You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them.
    2. You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer.
    3. a. You can legally kill yourself
    3. b. You can legally be killed
    4. You're exactly like the Germans, without an uneery sense of guilt.
    5. You think you are a world power, but everyone else thinks
    Copenhagen is your capital.....
    6. You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a national tradition.
    7. You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save your country
    8. You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still you've never seen your neighbours.
    9. If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started, blame the Germans. If you lose your bike, blame the Germans.
    10. Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge.

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN
    1. You get to speak three languages, but none of more...

    One night

    Hot 3 years ago

    One night, God spoke to a preacher to tell him what he wanted him to do. After God had briefed him on his mission, the minister decided to ask him a question. "God," he said, "What is heaven like?" God replied, "Well, normally I don't tell people this, but since you are my servant, I guess I can tell you. Heaven will be like a city. It will have the best of everything. For example, the French will be the chefs; the Italians will be the lovers; the English will be the policeman; the Germans will be the mechanics; and the Dutch will be the politicians!" The man looked pleased. "What is hell like?" he asked. "Well," he said with a sigh, "the French will be the mechanics; the Italians will be the politicians; the English will be the chefs; the Germans will be the policemen; and the Dutch will be the lovers."

    A Dutch Treat

    Hot 4 months ago

    How about making the evening a Dutch treat?" cooed the delectable blonde to her handsome escort. "You pay for dinner and drinks-and the rest of the evening will be on me."

    Q. Why couldn't the Lesbian tennis star compete in the Dutch Open? A. She got her finger caught in a dike!

    There is a lot of talk about the United Nations creating a combined strike force with troops from several nations included in it.
    Could it work? Let's take a look at one operation.
    A combined force beach landing on a tropical island. When the troops hit the beach.
    The Royal Marines go fishing.
    The US Marines wait for CNN to arrive.
    The French don't care whose beach it is; it's French territory now!
    The Canadians watch the Americans very closely, then offer to guard their landing strip.
    The Dutch have a beach party and smoke some dope saying the English don't understand them.
    The Italians go sunbathing.
    The Germans land and build a car factory.
    The West Indians go looking for the Dutch.
    The Austrians just watch the Russians and Germans.
    The Chinese win the natives hearts and minds then kill them.
    The SEALs arrive after dark and kill anyone who is not a SEAL.
    The Aussies and Kiwis land then start fighting each other over a more...

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