Duke Jokes

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    The Poetry Finals

    Hot 3 years ago

    The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Southeast Alabama A&M.

    The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu."

    The Duke graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem:

    Slowly across the desert sand

    Trekked the dusty caravan.

    Men on camels, two by two

    Destination--Timbuktu.

    The audience went wild! How, they wondered, could the redneck top that? The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:

    Tim and me, a-huntin' went.

    Met three whores in a more...

    Perfect archer

    Hot 6 years ago

    A duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants; he came across a tree. Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow.
    "Who is this incredibly fine archer?" cried the duke. "I must find him!"
    After continuing through the forest for a few miles he came across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow. Eventually the boy admitted that it was he who shot the arrows plumb in the center of all the targets.
    "You didn't just walk up to the targets and hammer the arrows into the middle, did you?" asked the duke worriedly.
    "No my lord. I shot them from a hundred paces. I swear it by all that I hold holy."
    "That is truly astonishing," said the duke. "I hereby admit you into my service."
    The boy thanked him profusely.
    "But I must ask one favor in return," the duke continued. "You must tell me how you came to be such an outstanding more...

    Redneck Poetry

    Hot 1 week ago

    The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Southeast Alabama A&M.
    The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu".
    The Duke graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem:
    Slowly across the desert sand Trekked the dusty caravan. Men on camels, two by two Destination-Timbuktu.
    The audience went wild!!! How, they wondered, could the redneck top that?! The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:
    Tim and me, a-huntin' went. Met three whores in a pop-up tent. They was three, we was two, So I bucked one and Timbuktu.

    Pakistani society has remained bitterly divided over a set of Islamic decrees that require a woman to have at least four male witnesses to prove rape.
    Since the reports, experts stated they are already seeing a massive increase in the popularity of lacrosse throughout the country.

    The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family, well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Southeast Tennessee A & M.
    The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu."
    The Duke graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem:
    Slowly across the desert sand
    Trekked the dusty caravan.
    Men on camels, two by two,
    Destination-Timbuktu.
    The audience went wild!!! How, they wondered, could the redneck top that?!
    The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped up and recited:
    Tim and me, a-huntin' went.
    Met three whores in a pop-up tent.
    They was three, we was more...

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