Dug Jokes

German scientists dug 50 meters down and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25, 000 years ago had a nation-wide telephone net. Naturally, the Russian government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters down they found small pieces of glass and they soon announced that the ancient Russians 35, 000 years ago already had a nation-wide fiber net. American scientists were outraged by this. They dug 200 meters down & found absolutely nothing. They happily concluded that the ancient Americans 55, 000 years ago had cellular telephones.

Once An American Called Santa To America. When Santa Arrived At America, The American Took Him To A Deep Jungle. They Both Dug 200m Below The Ground. They Found A Wire. American: See, Our Ancient People Also Used Telephones. Santa Felt Bad So He Called The American To India. When The American Arrived, They Both Went To The Jungle. They Dug 500m Below The Ground But Found No Wire. Santa: Our Ancient People Used Cellphones!!

The President and Mrs. Clinton are in the front row just above the dug out at a Yankees game. The row behind them is taken up with Secret Service agents. One of them leans over and whispers something in the President's ear.
President Clinton pauses, then grabs Hillary by the scruff of the neck and heaves her over the railing. She falls 10 feet to the top of the dug out, kicking and screaming obscenities all the way down, and after she lands, the President bows to the crowd, and shakes hands and "high five's" everyone near him.
The same Secret Service agent again leans over and whispers, "No Mr. President, I said, they want you to throw out the first PITCH."

German scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25, 000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network.
Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters down, they found small pieces of glass, and they soon announced that the ancient Brits 35, 000 years ago already had a nationwide fibre net.
Israeli scientists were outraged. They dug 50, 100 and 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing...... They concluded that the ancient Hebrews 55, 000 years ago had cellular telephones.

Old Ethel loved to race her wheelchair around the retirement home.

Oneday while she was racing her wheelchair around the halls like normal, she ran into an old man standing in the middle of the narrow hall.

"Stop," the old man said, "your speeding. I'll need to see your licence."

So Ethel dug through her robe pockets, pulled out a KIT-KAT wraper and handed it to the old man.

He looked at it for a moment handed it back and said,"Here, your free to go, but I don't wanna see you speeding again,... ok."

With that Ethel speed off around the next corner where another old man awaited her.

"Stop! Your speeding." He says,"I need to see your licence and registration."

Again Ethel dug through her robe pockets this time she pulled out the KIT-KAT wraper and a pillow tag.

She handed these to the old man who glanced at them and handed them more...