Drug Addict Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Lakewood couple found a small bag of marijuana in a bag of food picked up at a local Del Taco Restaurant. Thirty minutes later the couple returned an ordered 16 tacos, 12 burritos and 8 large sodas.

Good news for aging hippies: Scientists have found that smoking grass may stave off Alzheimer's disease. New research shows that the active ingredient in marijuana may prevent the progression of the disease by preserving levels of an important neurotransmitter that allows the brain to function.
Those afflicted with Alzheimer's are said to suffer from memory loss, impaired decision-making, and diminished language and movement skills.
Hmm... doesn't that sound an awful lot like the typical pot-smoker?

...Frank Keys Jr. faces up to 40 yrs in prison after he was found with 200 grams of heroin in the disposable diaper he was wearing...when the arresting officer asked Keys where he got the heroin, the man replied, "Depends."

New York- Cheesecake in hand, the police commissioner personally apologized Friday for the 50 or so mistaken, door-pounding visits that police have made to the home of a bewildered elderly Brooklyn couple in the past eight years.
"We are glad that the NYPD has fixed the problem." The couple said after the visit. "We just hope that we can get back to our lives and the things that we love." Among them, the couple said, were, "playing with their grandchildren, knitting, and producing crystal meth."

Alabama police have been using macadamia nuts as a crack decoy. Officers would chop up the nuts and sell them to unsuspecting crackheads. The program has worked well to decrease the amount of drug trafficking in many neighborhoods, but has also led to a new breed of addicts looking for anything tropical and nutty to smoke.

Rev. Ted Haggard was accused by a male hustler of paying for sex once a month for three years, and doing crystal meth, while simultaneously preaching against gay sex.
If I did all that, I'd be haggard, too.

The U.S. Coast Guard seized nearly 20 tons of cocaine, making it the largest maritime cocaine bust in U.S. history.

Tara Conner, Miss USA 2006, could not be reached for comment.