Drug Addict Jokes / Recent Jokes

A study in Britain shows stressed-out women who work long hours eat more high-fat snacks, exercise less, and smoke more than their male colleagues. The study showed men's reaction to women under such stress was to mercilessly berate them for eating more, not exercising enough and smoking too much.
The report found that poor eating habits were linked to one or more stressful events such as making a presentation, meeting with the boss and in particular, being the subject of a study about stress.
For men, working longer hours has no negative impact on exercise, caffeine intake or smoking, but did increase their state of denial about their receding hairlines, love handles and impotence.

...a group of marijuana growers are suspects in murder of DEA official....law enforcement officials investigating the case say they will solve the case, and are leaving no stoner unturned.

Rev. Ted Haggard was accused by a male hustler of paying for sex once a month for three years, and doing crystal meth, while simultaneously preaching against gay sex.
If I did all that, I'd be haggard, too.

By now, we've all heard that Full House star Jodie Sweetin is a recovering meth addict and an intervention was staged by her former Full House costars, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, John Stamos and Bob Saget.
Apparently just Dave Coolier telling her to “cut it out” wasn’t enough.
All I know is, if Bob Saget, John Stamos and the Olsen Twins all got together to ask me to stop doing something, I would stop it. I don’t care what it is.

Heroin users should avoid the drug because some supplies have been tainted with a powerful painkiller blamed for hundreds of deaths nationwide since mid-April, law enforcement officials urged on Tuesday.
Rather, the D.E.A. suggests addicts downgrade to crystal meth for a few weeks just to be safe, until they officially clear the tracks for the H-train again.
Your cooperation in this matter is greatly appreciated.

Good news for aging hippies: Smoking pot may stave off Alzheimer's disease. New research shows that the active ingredient in marijuana may prevent the progression of the disease by preserving levels of an important neurotransmitter that allows the brain to function. Oddly enough the test subjects who smoked pot consistently for the past 50 years showed no signs of Alzheimers disease but ironically still couldn’t remember shit!

Harrelson warned: Quit now or never forget "Indecent Proposal."