Draw Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    3 religious men who have just hit the pot at the lottery wanted to thank God for their fortune.
    The first said that he will take his money, draw a line on the earth and throw the money into the air. The money that will fall in the left side of the line will be a donation to his church and he will take the rest.
    The second said that he will draw a circle and throw the money into the air, and what will fall inside is for God.
    The third just decided to throw it into the air and let god catch his part.

    Contest: Beer vs. Pussy
    A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement. Advantage: Beer.
    A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot. Advantage: Pussy.
    Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice cold pussy makes you married. Advantage: Beer.
    Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not. Advantage: Draw.
    If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted. Advantage: Pussy
    24 beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you can come in. Advantage: Pussy.
    Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer. Advantage: Pussy.
    If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible. Advantage: Beer.
    If you come home smelling like beer, The Woman may get mad. If you come home smelling like pussy - you're dead. Advantage: Beer.
    6 beers in a night and you better not drive. 6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need. Advantage: Pussy
    Too much beer and more...

    Contest: Beer vs. Pussy
    A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement. Advantage: Beer.
    A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot. Advantage: Pussy.
    Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice cold pussy makes you married. Advantage: Beer.
    Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not. Advantage: Draw.
    If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted. Advantage: Pussy
    24 beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you can come in. Advantage: Pussy.
    Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer. Advantage: Pussy.
    If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible. Advantage: Beer.
    If you come home smelling like beer, The Woman may get mad. If you come home smelling like pussy - you're dead. Advantage: Beer.
    6 beers in a night and you better not drive. 6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need. Advantage: Pussy
    Too much beer and more...

    On a sheet of paper, draw a picture of a pig.
    Do your best.
    Then scroll down and read the rest of this message.
    Don't cheat, because if you do it won't work.
    Draw the pig first and just follow the instructions, it won't take but a minute.
    Have fun. This is quite interesting! You must not scroll down until you have drawn the pig.
    Draw your picture. No cheating now. You will find this veryinteresting if you draw your picture first!
    ***
    YOU'RE CHEATING! DRAW THE FRIGGIN PIG!!!
    IT RUINS THE JOKE IF YOU DON'T DRAW THE PIG. IT
    DOESN'T HAVE TO LOOK GOOD. JUST DO IT. IT'LL TAKE 20 SECONDS.
    YOU'LL BE SORRY IF YOU DIDN'T DRAW THE PIG.
    ***
    The pig serves as a useful test of the personality traits of the drawer.
    If the pig is drawn:
    Toward the top of the paper, you are positive and optimistic.
    Toward the middle, you are a realist.
    Toward the bottom, you are pessimistic, and have a tendency to behave negatively.
    Facing more...

    Saw this one on a professor's door:
    The evolution of mathematics education
    during the last 30 years.
    1960's
    A peasant sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His costs amount to 4/5 of his
    selling price. What is his profit?
    1970's
    A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His costs amount to 4/5 of his
    selling price, i.e. $8. What is his profit?
    1970's (New Math)
    A farmer exchanges a set P of potatoes with a set M of money. The cardinality
    of the set M is equal to $10 and each element of M is worth $1. Draw 10 big
    dots representing the elements of M.
    The set C of production costs is comprised of 2 big dots less than the set M.
    Represent C as a subset of M and give the answer to the question: What is the
    cardinality of the set of profits? (Draw everything in red).
    1980's
    A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His production costs are $8 and his
    profit is $2. Underline the word "potatoes" and discuss with your more...

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