Here's a list of phony names often given to substitute teachers:
(source: "Book of Lists 2")
Art E. Choke
A small white guy walks into an elevator and notices a huge black dude standing next to him. The big black guy looks down at the small white guy and says, "Seven feet tall, 350 pounds, 20-inch dick, 3-pound left ball, 3-pound right ball, Ben Dover." The small white guy faints!
The big guy picks up the small guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him before he booms out, "What's wrong?"
The small guy says, "Excuse me, but what did you say?"
The big guy looks down and says, "Seven feet tall, 350 pounds, 20-inch Dick, 3-pound left ball, 3-pound right ball, my name is Ben Dover."
The small white guy says, "Thank god! The first time I thought you had said,' Bend over!'"
Aaron Thetires (Air in the Tires)
Abe Rudder (Hey Brother)
Abbie Birthday (Happy Birthday)
Abel N. Willan (Able and Willing)
Achilles Punks (I'll Kill These Punks)
Adam Bomb (Atom Bomb)
Adam Meway (Out of My Way)
Adam Sapple (Adam's Apple)
Adolf Oliver Nippils (Ate Off All Of Her Nipples)
Al B. Zienya (I'll Be Seeing You)
Al DePantzeu (I'll De-Pants You)
Al Gore-Rythim (Algorithym)
Al Kaholic (Alcoholic)
Al Kaseltzer (Alkaseltzer)
Al Kickurass (I'll Kick Your Ass)
Al Killeu (I'll Kill You)
Al Luminum (Aluminum)
Al Nino (El Nino)
Al O'Moaney (Alimony)
Alpha Kenny Wun (I'll Fuck Anyone)
Alec Tricity (Electricity)
Alex Blaine Layder (I'll Explain Later)
Alf Abet (Alphabet)
Ali Gator (Ali Gator)
Allota Fagina (A lot of vagina)
Amanda B. Recandwithe (A Man to Be Reckoned With)
Amanda Lay (A Man To Lay)
Amanda Hugnkiss (A Man to Hug and Kiss)