Disks Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    In the beginning, God created the Bit and the Byte. And from those he created the Word.And there were two Bytes in the Word; and nothing else existed. And God separated the One from the Zero; and he saw it was good.And God said - Let the Data be; And so it happened. And God said - Let the Data go to their proper places. And he created floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks.And God said - Let the computers be, so there would be a place to put floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks. Thus God created computers and called them hardware.And there was no Software yet. But God created programs; small and big... And told them - Go and multiply yourselves and fill all the Memory.And God said - I will create the Programmer; And the Programmer will make new programs and govern over the computers and programs and Data.And God created the Programmer; and put him at Data Center; And God showed the Programmer the Catalog Tree and said You can use all the volumes and subvolumes but do more...

    Tech Support

    Hot 5 years ago

    Customer: "Your sound card is defective and I want a new one." Tech Support: "What seems to be the problem?" Customer: "The balance is backwards. The left channel is coming out of the right speaker and the right channel is coming out the left. It's defective!" Tech Support: "You can solve the problem by moving the left speaker to the right side of the machine and vice versa." Customer: (sputter) (click) Tech Support: (snicker)***I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance, green is a combination of cyan and yellow, but green printed fine.Every color of the rainbow printed fine except for yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges. I had the customer delete and reinstall the more...

    [For the occasional hermit out there without a mail drop, America Online has been distributing "10 Hours Free" disks like crazy. They come with magazines, they come by themselves, they are attached to trade journals etc. I have about ten of them now. I have never expressed an interest in AOL but these disks keep mounting up.]
    Collect two solar masses worth and detonate the sun.
    Activate each account with a different cartoon character name like Bullwinkle, Barney Rubble, Tasmanian Devil, etc. See if you run out of names before you run out of disks.
    Activate the disks one at a time. For each disk you activate, download enough files to fill up the reformatted activation disk. Don't stop until you have downloaded all data AOL has to offer. Use remaining unactivated disks for backup of downloaded data.
    Get 1000 people to all activate all of their disks at the same time. Monitor trade journals to see which disk storage manufacturer gets AOL's order for new more...

    [This is an original creation except as noted below]
    [For the occassional hermit out there without a mail drop, America Online
    has been distributing "10 Hours Free" disks like crazy. They come with
    magazines, they come by themselves, they are attached to trade journals
    etc. I have about ten of them now. I have never expressed an interest
    in AOL but these disks keep mounting up.]
    Things to do about all of your AOL disks.
    Collect two solar masses worth and detonate the sun. [copied from
    a signature seen on the net.]
    Activate each account with a different cartoon character name like
    Bullwinkle, Barney Rubble, Tasmanian Devil, etc. See if you run out
    of names before you run out of disks.
    Activate the disks one at a time. For each disk you activate, download
    enough files to fill up the reformatted activation disk. Don't stop
    until you have downloaded all data AOL has to offer. Use remaining
    unactivated disks for backup more...

    By Nicholas Petreley
    "Sulu, set path to the floppy drive. Scotty, fit the hard drive with the Microsoft Windows 95 engine. Chekov, prepare the install disks, we're about to begin a sequel."
    "Capitan, Windows 95 doesn't do SQL."
    "Right. Then let's see how she performs at task speed. Scotty?"
    "Captain, are you surre you want to replace the system? If ye put Windows code into a true 32-bit multitasking environment, we'll risk a matter-antimatter explosion!"
    "Scotty, that's an order. "
    "Aye, Captain, but she's just not rready. She needs a proper beta shakedown."
    "That's what we're doing, Scotty. Chekov, how are those install disks coming?"
    "We're on disk 5, sir."
    "Good. Spock?"
    "Fascinating, Captain. It appears as if Windows 95 is scanning our hardware and mutating to adapt."
    "Then, Spock, can you tell me why it is saying it can't use the more...

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