Why did the dishonest man grow a beard?
So that no one could call him a bare-faced liar!
Murphy, a dishonest lawyer, bribed one of his client's jurors to hold out for a charge of manslaughter, fearing the murder charge being brought by the state. The jury was out for days before returning with the verdict:
Later, as Murphy paid off the corrupt juror, he asked him if he had a hard time convincing the other jurors to see things his way.
"Boy, did I!" said the juror. "They kept voting to acquit!
Two lawyers, Frank and Harry, meet for a drink. Frank says, "You know what happened? An angel was sent down to compile a list of the dishonest lawyers on earth. Six months later he dragged himself back to Heaven, exhausted. `Believe me,' he told God, `it'd be easier if I just made note of all of the honest lawyers on earth. In fact, I think I could do that in a weekend.' God said, `Fine.' Come Monday morning, the angel turned in his list and God said, `That's terrific. Now I think you should send all the lawyers on this list a note of congratulations.'"Frank pauses and sips his Scotch. Then he says, "There was a postscript to the angel's
note. You know what it was?" Harry says, "No." "Aha! So you didn't get one either!"
The Dishonest Person: One who farts but blames the dog.
Which burgers are dishonest? Cat-burgers! (burglars)