Dice Jokes

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    8:00 AM at the casino

    Hot 1 year ago

    It's 8:00 AM at a gambling casino. There are two guys waiting at the dice table for additional competition. A very attractive lady comes in and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. The other two agree.

    She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm not wearing underwear." With that she strips naked from the waste down. She then rolls the dice while yelling, "Momma needs a new pair of pants! YES! I WIN!"

    With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves. The other two just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?"

    The other answers, "I don't know. I thought you were watching the dice!"

    A blonde walks into a casino and goes up to the craps table. She tells the dealers she wants to bet $10 000 on a single roll of the dice. The dealers figure that since shes a blonde, she must not know what shes doing, so they allow her to place the bet.
    Then the blonde starts to strip. The dealers ask her what shes doing and she replies, "I'm luckier when I'm naked. Hope ya don't mind."
    So she rolls the dice and jumps up and down screaming, "I WON! I WON! YAY!"
    She hugs the dealers and picks up her chips and clothes and jumps excitedly away.
    While enjoying the view of the blonde jumping away, the second dealer leans over and whispers to the first dealer, "What'd she roll?"
    The first dealer says, "What? I wasn't checking, I thought you were checking."

    A candidate brought dice into the examination hall for MCQ. He started tossing the dice to select his answers. The superintendent just gave a glimpse at this candidate, as he passed by, as it is common to have students trying their luck. Very soon the candidate finished his whole paper and slept on his table. Half an hour later, the candidate sat up, and started tossing the dice again The superintendent felt curious, and approached the candidate.
    Superintendent: "Gentleman, why are you tossing the dice again, since you've already finished all the questions earlier on?"
    Candidate: "Sir, I have to double check my answers"

    An old preacher was just getting out of church and was driving home through his neighborhood. As he was turning the corner of one of the major streets in his neighborhood, he noticed 3 boys playing dice on the sidewalk, and betting money along with it. The old preacher thinks to himself how awful the situation is, that these young children are already heading down the life of sin and he should do something to stop it.
    The old preacher pulls over and gets out on the opposite side of the street and starts walking over to the boys. He calls out to the oldest looking on and asked the boy to "come here" so that as he's walking towards the boys, the oldest boy would be walking toward him. When the boy reached him, the old preacher asked him what he was doing.
    "Gambling, sir" retorted the boy
    "Gambling?! How old are you son?" asked the preacher.
    "I'm 14"
    "14?! Well if you turn that around, you'll be 41. You'll have reached the more...

    It's 8:00 AM at a gambling casino. Two bored dealers are waiting around for someone to walk up and try their luck at the craps table. A very attractive lady comes in and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. The dealers agree.
    She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm bottomless."
    With that she strips naked from the waist down, and rolls the dice while yelling, "Mama needs a new pair of pants!"
    She then begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers. "YES! I WIN! I WIN!"
    With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?"
    The other answers, "I don't know. I thought YOU were watching the dice!"

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