Devil Jokes / Hot Jokes

The Devil went down to Georgia not because he was looking for a soul to steal.. Chuck Norris took over hell for two weeks and told the Devil to get the fuck out.

Prank call

Hot 3 months ago

(To be left on an answering machine, or as a general prank call)
"You know, the strangest thing happened to me today... I asked the devil for a condom, and he gave me three. I asked the devil for a dollar, and he gave me ten. Then I asked the devil for a ho and he gave me this number."

Sven and Olie

Hot 3 months ago

Sven and Olie died and went to Hell. After awhile, the Devil came by to see how his new guests were doing. To his amazement, he found Sven and Olie were still wearing their winter gear and seemed to be quite comfortable. The Devil asked why they weren't hot.
Olie replied, "We come from Minnesota where it's always cold. This is feeling pretty good to us." This upset the Devil, so he turned up the thermostat. Awhile later the Devil looked in again on Sven and Olie. To his surprise he found they were still wearing their winter gear. The Devil questioned them on it again. "You have to remember that we are from Minnesota and it's very, very cold there. This is feeling nice to us."
The Devil was even madder at this, so he turned the thermostat all the way up to maximum temperature. The Devil waited some time and then went back to Sven and Olie. This time he found they had only unzipped their coats, but still had all their winter clothes on. The Devil couldn't more...

Call From Hell

Hot 1 year ago

Queen Elizabeth II, George W Bush & Robert Mugabe died & went straight to hell.Queen Elizabeth II said "I miss Britain, I want to call Britain and see how everybody is doing there. She called and talked for about 5 minutes, then her Majesty asked "Well, Devil how much do I owe you? The devil replied "Five million dollars" She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.George Bush was so jealous, he began screaming, "My turn! I wanna call the United States, I want to see how everybody is doing there too" He called and talked for about 10 minutes, then he asked "Well, Devil how much do I owe you? The devil replied "Ten million dollars" With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.Robert Mugabe was even more jealous & started screaming, "I want to call Zimbabwe, I want to see how everybody is doing there. I wanna talk to the ministers, to the deputy, I wanna talk to everybody". He called more...

Judo Tournament

Hot 1 year ago

One Day the Devil challenged the Lord to a Judo tournament. Smiling the Lord proclaimed, "You don''t have a chance, I have Kano, Mifune, Kotani, Kimura and all the greatest players up here".

"Yes", snickered the Devil, "but I have all the referees."