Devil Jokes / Hot Jokes

Call From Hell

Hot 10 months ago

Queen Elizabeth II, George W Bush & Robert Mugabe died & went straight to hell.Queen Elizabeth II said "I miss Britain, I want to call Britain and see how everybody is doing there. She called and talked for about 5 minutes, then her Majesty asked "Well, Devil how much do I owe you? The devil replied "Five million dollars" She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.George Bush was so jealous, he began screaming, "My turn! I wanna call the United States, I want to see how everybody is doing there too" He called and talked for about 10 minutes, then he asked "Well, Devil how much do I owe you? The devil replied "Ten million dollars" With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.Robert Mugabe was even more jealous & started screaming, "I want to call Zimbabwe, I want to see how everybody is doing there. I wanna talk to the ministers, to the deputy, I wanna talk to everybody". He called more...

Judo Tournament

Hot 1 year ago

One Day the Devil challenged the Lord to a Judo tournament. Smiling the Lord proclaimed, "You don''t have a chance, I have Kano, Mifune, Kotani, Kimura and all the greatest players up here".

"Yes", snickered the Devil, "but I have all the referees."

Three men: a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree.Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselvesstanding before the pearly gates of Heaven, where StPeter and the Devil were standing nearby."Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact thatHeaven is now overcrowded, therefore St Peter has agreed tolimit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone ofyou can ask me a question which I don't know or cannotanswer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the mostcomprehensive report on Socrates' teachings," With a snapof his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil.The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct."Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, thephilsopher disappeared.The mathematician then asked, "Give me the most complicatedformula you can ever more...

Chuck Norris jokes

Hot 3 years agoby
axel92

1. They once had a street called Chuck Norris Ave., but they had to change the name because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
2. Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
3. Once, Chuck Norris lost a testicle while engaged in epic battle with Wolverine. It is more well known today as the planet Jupiter. (Chuck Norris won btw)
4. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil in exchange for his rugged good looks and incredible strength. Chuck Norris then proceeded to roundhouse kick the devil in the face and take his soul back. The devil, realizing the irony in this, admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play cards every Wednesday.
5. Chuck Norris got a perfect 1600 on his SAT by putting "violence" as the answer to every question. Chuck Norris solves all his problems with violence.
6. When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he is showing you how many seconds you have left to live.
7. Once Chuck Norris saw a news report about more...

Devil and lawyer

Hot 3 years ago

An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when Satan appeared before him. The Devil told the lawyer, "I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, and the souls of all your friends and law partners."
The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, "So, what's the catch?"