Dense Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Couldn't find his way through a maze even if the rats helped him. Couldn't hit sand if he fell off a camel. Couldn't hit the broad side of a barn if he were standing inside. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel. Couldn't think/pee his way out of a paper bag. Couldn't write dialog for a porno flick. CPU is always in powersave mode. CPU not connected to the bus. Cranial cavity filled with neutronic matter. (Really dense.) Cranio-rectally inverted. Cunning as a dodo bird. Cursor's flashing but there's no response. Dealing with him is less fun than going to the dentist. Dealing with him is one angst worse than a blind date. Deep as her dimples / reflection in a mirror. Defective hard drive / boot sector. Dense as a London fog. Diarrhea of the mouth constipation of the ideas. Differently clued. - Dave Clark Dock doesn't quite reach the water. Does aerobics... in his head. Does everything the hard way, like making love standing up in a hammock. Doesn't adjust for more...

    He demonstrates that beauty times brains is a constant. He donated his brain to science but they made an early withdrawal. He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. He knows computers... He's not fit for contact with humans. He writes blank checks on a closed account. He'd be in big trouble if his wristwatch broke and he had to He'd screw up a two-car funeral procession. He's a General Protection Fault trigger. He's a man on a mission, but can't find his dossier. He's diagnosable. He's not a complete idiot - some parts are missing. He's not stupid he's possessed by a retarded ghost. He's so dense, light bends around him. He's so dense, the Titanic wouldn't sink in his head. Hears everything that a dog can. Hears more lyrics on records when they're played backwards. Her access time approaches infinity. Her ancestors came to this country looking for bananas. Her blender doesn't go past "mix". Her brain has a corrupted filesystem / someone needs to run more...

    Sadly, also reveals breasts found more often in dense women.

    A rather dense woman got a new job working in a sperm bank. We ran into her about a week after she started her new job and asked her what she did.
    She said, "Well, I just sit in the reception area and great all the men who come in. It's mainly men. Women never come in there. And I act cordial. And I point out to the men where they should go. And when they come out, I say,' Thank you for coming. ’"

    He's so dense, light bends around him.

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