Deeply Jokes

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    A girls first time

    Hot 4 years ago

    as you lie back your muscles tighten. you put him off for a while searching for an excuse but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. he asks you if you are afraid but you shake your head bravely. he has had more experience but it is the first time that his finger has found the right place. he probes deeply and you shiver. your body tenses but he is gentle like he promised he would be. he looks deeply into your eyes and tells you to trust him, he has done this many times before. his cool smile relaxes you. you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. you plead him to hurry, but he takes it slowly to cause you as little pain as possible.as he presses closer going deeper, you feel tissue give way. you feel a slight treakle of blood as he continues. he looks at you concerned and asks if it too painful. your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. he is now going in and out with skill but you are too numb to feel him within you. more...

    A nice young worker from Australia Post ( yes they do exist ), was sorting
    through her regular envelopes, when she discovered a letter addressed as
    follows:
    GOD
    c/o Heaven
    Upon opening the envelope, a letter enclosed told of how a little old
    lady who had never asked for anything in her life, was desperately in need of
    $100 and was wondering if God could send her the money.
    Well the young lady was deeply touched and made a collection from her
    fellow workmates and collected $90 and sent it off to the old lady. A few
    weeks later another letter arrived addressed to God, so the young lady opened
    it and it read "Thank you for the money, God, I deeply appreciate it, however
    I only received $90. It must have been those bastards at the Post Office."

    Bill and Steve are enjoying a beer and discussing the possibility of love. "I thought I was in love three times," Bill says.
    "Thought?" Steve asks. "What do you mean?"
    "Three years ago, I cared very deeply for a woman who wanted nothing to do with me," Bill says.
    "Wasn't that love?" Steve asks.
    "No, that was obsession," Bill explains. "Then two years ago, I cared very deeply for an attractive woman who didn't understand me."
    "Wasn't that love?" asks Steve.
    "No, that was lust," Bill replies. "And just last year, I met a woman while I was on a cruise. She was gorgeous, intelligent, a great conversationalist and had a super sense of humor. Everywhere I followed her on that ship, I would get a very strange sensation in the pit of my stomach."
    "Well, wasn't that love," asks Steve.
    "No. That was motion sickness!" Bill replies.

    It's your first time. As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for awhile searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely.
    He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but
    he's gentle like he promised he'd be. He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him- he's done this many times before. His cool
    smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an ease entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.
    As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake you head and more...

    It's your first time.
    As you lie back your muscles tighten.
    You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.
    He asks if you're afraid, and you shake your head bravely and mumble no.
    He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.
    He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.
    He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him- he's done this many times before.
    His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an ease entrance.
    You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.
    As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel slight trickle of blood as he continues.
    He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful.
    Your eyes are more...

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