Daylight Jokes

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    Variation on the lyric to the Banana Boat song:
    I had a date with Juan last night.
    Daylight come and me Juan go home.
    Daylight come and me Juan go home.

    The switch away from daylight savings time caused consternation among terrorist groups this year.

    At precisely 5: 30 Israel time on Sunday, two coordinated car bombs exploded in different cities, killing three terrorists who were transporting the bombs. It was initially believed that the devices had been detonated prematurely by klutzy amateurs.

    A closer look revealed the truth behind the untimely explosions. Three days before, Israel had made a premature switch from daylight savings time to standard time in order to accommodate a week of Slihot, involving pre-sunrise prayers. Palestinians refused to "live on Zionist time." Two weeks of scheduling havoc ensued.

    The bombs had been prepared in a Palestine-controlled area, and set on Daylight Savings time. The confused drivers had already switched to standard time. As a result, the cars were still en-route when the explosives detonated, delivering to the terrorists their well-deserved demise.

    During the Sui Dynasty (581-618), there lived a clever man who spoke with a slight stutter. Whenever the Minister Yang Su felt bored and listless, he would invite this man over to have a chat. One evening toward the close of the year when they sat facing each other, Yang asked him more in jest than in earnest: " Supposing you find yourself in a pit ten feet deep and ten feet in circumference, how would you get out?" The man lowered his head, meditating for some time, and asked: " Is there a 1-1-ladder?" "No," replied Yang. " I wouldn't have asked you if there were a ladder." Again the man lowered his head meditating. Some time later, he inquired: " In br-br-broad daylight? Or at n-n-night?" " No need to ask whether it's in broad daylight or at night," replied Yang." The question is how would you get out." " I'm not blind," reported the man. " If it isn't after night-fall, how the hell could I fall more...

    Why does Osama Binladin think that his people are rebels?
    Because their new Pledge of Allegiance is
    Hey mister taliban turn over Binladin, Daylight comes and we wanna go home,
    Daylight comes and we wanna go home.

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