David Ortiz Jokes
My apologies to David Ortiz, ‘Big Papi’, of the Boston Red Sox. He was admitted to Massachusetts General, Tuesday, for testing of an irregular heartbeat. I want to apologize because, first, I never thought God would answer my prayers, and second, I didn’t expect God to take me so literally.
When I knelt down in front of the TV and said, “Please God, give David Ortiz a heart attack. Give him deep, stabbing chest pains so he never hits another homerun against the Yankees ever again.”, I was just kidding. I would have settled for a pulled hammy or even a persistent migraine. I never thought he’d actually give him a heart attack.
But, apparently I’m on God’s A-list. I prayed for a five game sweep, boom, let the manna fall, Yankees sweep. I prayed for a parking spot in Manhattan, as soon as I said, a lady pulled out right in front of the club. I prayed for the light to turn green, and it was as if heaven opened up a blessed with green lights from 35th to 60th. I’m more...
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