Darkness Jokes / Recent Jokes

Your momma is so fat when she jumped off the grand canyon everyone said darkness fell.

Q: How many AnTir-folk does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one, but the new bulb had better be a halogen fog lamp!

Q: How many Atlantians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: That depends, which household does it belong to?

Q: How many Dune Coons does it take to replace a light bulb?
A: Three - one to hold the bulb and two to turn the stool, but they need a foreign adviser to tell them it was burned out.

Note: I presume a "Dune Coon" means a 3rd world peasant.)

Q: How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.

Note: "Supply-siders" were the force behind Reagan's early reforms, and their economic theories were just like those of Thatcher (only the Thatcherites were more extreme). They believed that if they shifted the focus of government economic policy to stimulating supply rather than demand, the more...

In the darkness of the all-but-empty theater balcony, the couple embraced so passionately that the man's toupee slid from his head. Groping to find it in the darkness, he reached under his date's skirt.
"That's it, that's it," she gasped.
"It can't be," the fellow retorted. "I part mine on the side."

A Little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom.The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark."

The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you."

The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?"

"Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said.

The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little.

Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"

A Master Thief in London was giving a Coaching Class on Stealing and had students from all over the world. The Indian happened to be a Sardar. After several grueling classes on Theory came the final and decisive class of all, a practical demo.

The master took all his pupils to a house nearby in the darkness of night and entered that. But by mistake he overturns a vase.

Owner: Who's that?

Master: Miaooow...

The owner is satisfied and goes back to sleep. Mission accomplished.

The Sardar is very impressed. Returning to Punjab, he decides to open a similar class for his fellow Sardars. Does so and follows the same schedule of theory classes.

Then he goes for the demo with his pupils. Enters the house of a rich Sardar in darkness, and tells the other Sardars, " These are the various steps for stealing. You just observe. " Firstly, he goes and overturns a vase.

Owner: Koun Hai? ( Who's that? more...

A Master Thief in London was giving a Coaching Class on Stealing and had students from all over the world. The Indian happened to be a Sardar. After several grueling classes on Theory came the final and decisive class of all, a practical demo. The master took all his pupils to a house nearby in the darkness of night and entered that. But by mistake he overturns a vase. Owner: Who's that? Master: Miaooow... The owner is satisfied and goes back to sleep. Mission accomplished. The Sardar is very impressed. Returning to Punjab, he decides to open a similar class for his fellow Sardars. Does so and follows the same schedule of theory classes. Then he goes for the demo with his pupils. Enters the house of a rich Sardar in darkness, and tells the other Sardars, " These are the various steps for stealing. You just observe. " Firstly, he goes and overturns a vase. Owner: Koun Hai? ( Who's that? ) Sardar: Mai Billi. ( I am the cat.) Owner: Oh, Billi ( Oh. Cat.) and goes back to sleep.

A master thief in london was giving a coaching class on stealing and had students from all over the world. The indian happened to be a sardar. After several grueling classes on theory came the final and decisive class of all, a practical demo. The master took all his pupils to a house nearby in the darkness of night and entered that. But by mistake he overturns a vase. Owner: who's that? Master: miaooow... The owner is satisfied and goes back to sleep. Mission accomplished. The sardar is very impressed. Returning to punjab, he decides to open a similar class for his fellow sardars. Does so and follows the same schedule of theory classes. Then he goes for the demo with his pupils. Enters the house of a rich sardar in darkness, and tells the other sardars, " these are the various steps for stealing. You just observe. " firstly, he goes and overturns a vase. Owner: koun hai? ( who's that? ) Sardar: mai billi. ( i am the cat.) Owner: , billi (. Cat.) And goes back to sleep.