Czech Jokes

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    More soviet Joke

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    Czech walks into police station in 1968 during the Fraternal
    Assistance.
    Czech: Hey, out there in the street, a Swiss soldier knocked
    me down and took my Russian watch.
    Desk Sergeant: Come again?
    Czech: Are you deaf? Out there in the street, a Swiss soldier
    knocked me down and took my Russian watch.
    Desk Sergeant: You're confused. It was a Russian soldier who
    knocked you down and took your Swiss watch.
    Czech: Well, maybe, but you said it, not me.
    Henry Cate III

    A certain lawyer was quite wealthy and had a summer house in the country, to which he retreated for several weeks of the year. Each summer, the lawyer would invite a different friend of his (no, that's not the punch line) to spend a week or two up at this place, which happened to be in a
    backwoods section of Maine.
    On one particular occasion, he invited a Czechoslovakian friend to stay with him. The friend, eager to get a freebie off a lawyer, agreed. Well, they had a splendid time in the country - rising early and living in the great outdoors.
    Early one morning, the lawyer and his Czechoslovakian companion went out to pick berries for their morning breakfast. As they went around the berry patch, gathering blueberries and raspberries in tremendous quantities, along came two huge Bears - a male and a female. Well, the lawyer, seeing the two bears, immediately dashed for cover. His friend, though, wasn't so lucky, and the male bear
    reached him and swallowed him whole. more...

    A lawyer had just rented a cabin up north and was planning to do some hunting. So he goes up and finds that he has a neighbor. The neighbor is from Czechoslovakia. They decide to go hunting together and become good friends. While they camped out during the night 2 bears, a male and a female, attacked them. The lawyer just managed to get away. He stole a glance back and saw his Czechoslovakian friend get eaten whole by the male bear.
    The lawyer runs to the police and tells them to come and hurry and bring some tranquilizer guns. They run up into the woods where their camp was and they stumble across the 2 bears sleeping.
    The police say, "Which bear ate your friend?"
    The lawyer says, "The male bear. That one!" And points to the one on the right.
    The police immediately shoot the female bear and the male bear wakes up and runs off unharmed.
    The lawyer screams, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I SAID HE WAS IN THE MALE BEAR!"
    The police calmly more...

    A lawyer, who was quite wealthy, had a summer cabin to which he retreated for several weeks of the year. Each summer, the lawyer would invite a different friend of his to spend a week or two up at this place, which happened to be in a backwoods section of Maine. On one particular occasion, he invited a Czechoslovakian friend to stay with him, and the friend, eager to get something free from a lawyer, agreed.
    Early one morning the lawyer and his Czech friend went out to pick berries for their morning breakfast. As they went around the berry patch, along came two huge bears - a male and a female. The lawyer, seeing the two bears, immediately dashed for cover. His friend, though, wasn't so lucky, and the male bear reached him and swallowed him whole.
    The lawyer ran back to his Mercedes, tore into town as fast as he could, and got the local sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his rifle and dashed back to the berry patch with the lawyer. Sure enough, the two bears were still more...

    I heard this one from a dissident that our local Amnesty International
    group got out:
    Through the center of Czechoslovakia there a train speeding along. In one
    compartment of the train there are four people. A beautiful vivacious young
    woman, an old matronly woman, a Russian soldier, and a Czech dissident.
    Suddenly the train goes through a tunnel.
    It is completely dark.
    Then is heard a loud kiss and an equally powerful slap.
    When the train exits the tunnel, the Russian soldier is holding the side of his
    face, and the Czech dissident is grinning his face off.
    The old matronly woman thinks: "Now that's a fine young woman, the Russian
    soldier tries to steal a kiss in the tunnel and the lady slaps him one!"
    The young woman is thinking: "Now that's a strange Russian soldier, he'd
    rather kiss that old hag than me."
    The Russian soldier is thinking: "Now that's a smart Czech, he steals the kiss
    and I get more...

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