What did the cyclone say to the coconut tree?
. ... Hold on to your nuts' cos I'm gonna blow you hard!!
10. Decorating the house (boarding up windows).
9. Dragging out boxes that haven't been used since last season (camping gear, flashlights).
8. Last minute shopping in crowded stores.
7. Regular TV shows pre-empted for "specials".
6. Family coming to stay with you.
5. Family and friends from out-of-state calling.
4. Buying food you don't normally buy ... and in large quantities.
3. Days off from work.
1 And the number one reason Hurricane Season is like Christmas...At some point you know you're going to have a tree in your house!
Q: What do a tornado, a hurricane and a redneck divorce have in common?
A: In the end, someone is going to loose a house trailer.
A cyclone hit a farmhouse just before dawn one morning. It tore off the roof, and picked up the beds on which the farmer and his wife slept were sleeping. By some miracle, the cyclone set them down unharmed the next county over.
The wife was sobbing uncontrollably.
“Don’t be scared, Mary,” her husband said.” We’re not hurt.”
Mary continued to cry. “I’m not scared,” she said between sobs. “I’m happy… this is the first time in 14 years we’ve been out together.”
Q: Why are cyclones named after women?
A: Because they arrive all wet and wild and when they
leave they take your house and your car.
Q: Why are cyclones named after men?
A: Because they're noisy, make a huge mess, and if you
look into their eyes there's nothing there.