Cutter Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    While making love, the wife noticed her husband trimmed nicely and asked him who did the job. "The saloon down the corner darling" said the husband and added that the price was cheap too, only five dollars. The wife, needing a trim badly, went to the neighbourhood saloon the nest day and ordered her own trimmed. She was happy with the job and handed the man a five dollar bill. "Ten dollars lady" said the man and no less. The wife retorted saying she would pay no more than five dollars, exactly the amount her husband paid the previous day for his trim. "Oh" cried the hair cutter, "it was a man and we charge 5 dollars only from men!" The wife was aghast and asked the reason for the discrepency. The cutter laughed and said "handle lady; men give us the handle making our job easy with them!!"

    One day the poor wood cutter lost his axe in the stream. As no way to continue his living without an axe he sat down under a tree andstarted crying and praying for the Lord.
    The Lord appeared in front of him and promised that he will find the axe in a miniute.
    The Lord jumped to the water and brought up an golden axe. "Is this your's?" The man said' No". "Keep it" the Lord said.
    The Lord jumped to the water again and brought an silver axe. "Is this yours" "No" the man said. "Keep it" the Lord said and jumped to the water again.
    This time the Lord brought up the real axe and the happy man went home with all three axes with him.
    After few days he lost his wife in the stream and kept crying and praying near the stream. The Lord appears in front of him and promised he will find his wife in a minute. The lord jumped to the water and brought Jenifer Lopez out of the stream in few seconds.
    "Is this your more...

    A steelworker walks into a construction site and applies for a job. The site foreman is impressed by his job references and past experiences. He looks fit and has a good personality. He is on the verge of offering the man a job when he notices a break of six months in the employment record.

    The foreman asks "What were you doing for six months?"

    The steel fixer shuffles his feet a bit and replies "There was an accident on site and I was injured with a disk cutter".

    "That's awful", says the foremen, "Was it a bad injury"?

    The steel fixer shuffles his feet even more and replies, "Its not something I would want passed around the site, but the disk cutter caught me in the groin and they had to amputate both my testicles in hospital later".

    "Well I can see why you wouldn't want that known". Said the foreman. "You look fit enough now and your references are excellent so more...

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