Cure Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn''t help.

On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn''t do any good.

On his third visit the doctortold the man, "Go home and take a hot bath. As soon as you finish bathing throw open all the windows and stand in the draft."

"But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I''ll get pneumonia."

"I know," said the doctor, "I can cure pneumonia."

And I thought nothing could top Hormel`s pickled eggs. ..

8. Meeter`s Kraut Juice (Stokely USA): Yes, that`s sauerkraut juice, which is even worse than it sounds. The taste and smell can be a bit, well, harsh, but KJ is reputed by its fans to have medicinal benefits (as a source of vitamin C, cure for intestinal bugs, etc.), which adds up to a classic case of the cure being worse than the disease.

7. Guycan Corned Mutton with Juices Added (Bedessee Imports): The best thing about this Uruguayan canned good is the very pouty-looking sheep on the package label -- he seems to be saying, "Go on, eat me already." The second-best thing is the presence of both "cooked mutton" and "mutton" in the ingredients listing, which would seem to have all the mutton bases covered.

6. Armour Pork Brains in Milk Gravy (Dial Corp.): If you`re really looking to clog up those arteries in a hurry, you`ll be pleased to learn that a single serving more...

The Eight Worst Convenience FoodsAnd I thought nothing could top Hormel's pickled eggs... 8. Meeter's Kraut Juice (Stokely USA): Yes, that's sauerkraut juice, which is even worse than it sounds. The taste and smell can be a bit, well, harsh, but KJ is reputed by its fans to have medicinal benefits (as a source of vitamin C, cure for intestinal bugs, etc.), which adds up to a classic case of the cure being worse than the disease. 7. Guycan Corned Mutton with Juices Added (Bedessee Imports): The best thing about this Uruguayan canned good is the very pouty-looking sheep on the package label - he seems to be saying, "Go on, eat me already." The second-best thing is the presence of both "cooked mutton" and "mutton" in the ingredients listing, which would seem to have all the mutton bases covered. 6. Armour Pork Brains in Milk Gravy (Dial Corp.): If you're really looking to clog up those arteries in a hurry, you'll be pleased to learn that a single serving of more...

Jack went to see a psychiatrist. "Doc, I think I'm going crazy and you just have to help me. Every time I get into bed, I think there's someone under it. I get under the bed, and I think there's someone on top of it. Top, under, top, under, over and over again."
"Put yourself in my hands for one year," the doctor said. "Come to see me three times a week and I will cure your fears."
"How much do you charge, doctor?" Jack asked.
"My fee is one hundred dollars per visit," replied the doctor.
"I'll think about it, doc," Jack said.
Several months later, the doctor met Jack on the street. "Why didn't you come back to see me again?" asked the doctor.
"For a hundred dollars a visit?" Jack exclaimed. "A bartender cured me for a mere ten dollars."
"Really? How did he do that?" the doctor asked.
"He told me to cut the legs of the bed!" Jack replied.

How do you cure constipation?
Sit on a block of cheese and swallow a mouse!

How do you cure constipation? Sit on a block of cheese and swallow a mouse!

The Eight Worst Convenience Foods

And I thought nothing could top Hormel's pickled eggs. ..

8. Meeter's Kraut Juice (Stokely USA): Yes, that's sauerkraut juice, which is even worse than it sounds. The taste and smell can be a bit, well, harsh, but KJ is reputed by its fans to have medicinal benefits (as a source of vitamin C, cure for intestinal bugs, etc.), which adds up to a classic case of the cure being worse than the disease.

7. Guycan Corned Mutton with Juices Added (Bedessee Imports): The best thing about this Uruguayan canned good is the very pouty-looking sheep on the package label -- he seems to be saying, "Go on, eat me already." The second-best thing is the presence of both "cooked mutton" and "mutton" in the ingredients listing, which would seem to have all the mutton bases covered.

6. Armour Pork Brains in Milk Gravy (Dial Corp.): If you're really looking to clog up those arteries in a hurry, more...