Culprit Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    President Clinton wakes up to a beautiful winter morning. The sun is shining, the air is crisp, and there is a light blanket of snow on the ground. He stretches and goes to look out the window at the snow-covered White House lawn and sees the words "President Clinton sucks" written in pee in the snow. Clinton gets all upset and calls White House Security. He tells them he doesn't care what it takes but he wants to know who did this.
    The Chief of Security returns in a couple of days to the President and tells him that he has good news, bad news, and real bad news. "OK," says Clinton, "give me the good news first, then the bad news, and then the real bad news."
    The Chief says: "The good news is after taking analysis of the pee, we know who the culprit is."
    Clinton nods and the Chief continues: "The bad news is the culprit is Vice President Gore."
    This really upsets the President, but he controls his anger and asks the more...

    The Home Minister sent a registered letter to the Akali leaders ensconced in the Yatri Niwas of the Golden Temple:' Hand over the culprit at once,' it demanded.
    Promplty came back the reply from Jarnail Singh Bhindranwale:' We have a Harpreet Singh and a Gurpreet Singh and a Jaspreet Singh, but we have no Kulpreet Singh.'

    Judge:"So, You Drankthe Whole Bottle Of Liquor At One Sitting?" Culprit:"It Becameabsolutely Necessary, Your Honour"
    Judge:"How's That?" Culprit:"Well, I Lost The Cap Of The Bottle."

    Having noticed the empty pot of toddy for several days, the owner hid nearby awaiting for the culprit. After some time a man quitely walked up to he coconut tree and climbed it and drank the collected sweet toddy in the pot and slowly climbed down.
    Now that the culprit was caught red-handed the owner questioned why he climbed the coconut tree. Promptly the man rceplied, "to cut some grass." The angry owner said, "Fool! how can you get grass on a coconut tree?"
    He replied, "That's why I am getting down."

    If a dog bites a man, they say, it is not news, but if a man bites a dog it certainly is. Well, yesterday this incident actually happened at the Pettah bus stand, Colombo. A man bit a dog. And this is how the different sections of the Sri Lankan press reported the event.

    DAILY NEWS:
    UNP THUG BITES A DOG
    Yesterday, an innocent dog was bitten in front of a large crowd at the Pettah bus stand, by a man, who was later identified as a supporter of the opposition leader, Mr. Ranil Wickremasinghe. Daily News learns that the dog received only minor injuries but following the immediate intervention of the President HE Chandrika Bandaranaike Kumaratunge, he was admitted to the intensive care unit of the Colombo General Hospital Canine ward. In a statement, President also condemned the attack and questioned how long the Opposition leader intends to maintain silence on the inhumanity and cruelty of his supporters over innocent animals.? We should take this act very seriously. more...

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