Cross Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q. Why did the pervert cross the road?
A. Becuase he was stuck to the chicken.
A Catholic boy and a Mormon boy are arguing about which is smarter. The Catholic boy suggests they go to his priest in the Catholic cathedral and ask him to help them resolve the problem.
Upon entering the cathedral, the Catholic boy tells the priest of their problem figuring out who was smarter - to which the priest quickly replied, "Well, the Catholic boy is smarter, of course."
The Mormon boy wasn't convinced, so he asked the priest to prove it. So, the priest pointed up to the large wall in the cathedral where a huge cross with the crucifix stood - also with the two people crucified on either side of Him also on the wall.
The priest asked the Mormon boy who the man in the center was, to which he quickly replied, "That's Jesus on the cross - of course!"
The priest nodded approvingly, then asked, "now who is that on the right of Him?" The Mormon boy didn't know.
"Now who is that on His left?" The Mormon boy didn't know that more...
Q: Why did the owl, owl?
A: Because the woodpecker would peck `er!
Q: What is a polygon?
A: A dead parrot!
Q: What flies through the jungle singing opera?
A: The parrots of Penzance!
Q: What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?
A: A fire Quaker!
Q: What is a parrot`s favorite game?
A: Hide and Speak!
Q: Why did the parrot wear a raincoat?
A: Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated!
Q: What did the gamekeeper say to the lord of the manor?
A: `The pheasants are revolting`!
Q: What is the definition of Robin?
A: A bird who steals!
Q: When is the best time to buy budgies?
A: When they`re going cheap! Q: What do parrots eat?
A: Polyfilla!
Q: What do you give a sick bird?
A: Tweetment!
Q: What bird tastes just like butter?
A: A stork!
Q: What`s another name for a clever duck?
A: A wise more...
Q: Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?A: She was afraid someone would caesar!
How do Chinese name their kids? They throw pots and pans down the stairs *Ping, pong, pang* Did you hear about the Chinese girl who won the lottery? She has one fortunate cookie... What do you call a Filipino Contortionist A manila folder. What do you call a Filipino walking a poodle? A Gourmet How do you Filipino The same way you Pakistani. What's the difference between a pot of lobsters and a group of Japanese tourists who've just been run over by a steamroller? There's no difference, they're all crustaceans ("crushed Asians"). What's yellow and goes "cheep, cheep"? A Chinese prostitute. What do you get if you cross a Black whore with a Chinese? A maid that sucks your shirts. What do you get when you cross an Abo with a Chinaman? A car thief who can't drive. What do you call a fat Chinaman? A Chunk. What is the title of the new Vietnamese cookbook 100 Ways to Cook Your Dog What did the mongoloid say to his dog? Down syndrome!! What do a lobster and an Asian run more...
Cross talk
Rabbi Rabinovitz went in to beg his board of directors to buy a new synagogue chandelier. Arguing and pleading for over an hour, he eventually sat down believing he had failed. Suddenly, the president of the board said, "Why are we wasting time talking`? "First of all, a chandelier,. .. why, we haven’t got anyone who could even spell it. Second, we haven’t got anyone who could even play it. And lastly, what we really need in the shul is more light!"
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Issac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest, chickens in motion tend to cross roads.
A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender looks at him, and says "For you, no charge."
Two fermions walk into a bar. One orders a drink. The other says "I'll have what he's having."
Two atoms bump into each other. One says "I think I lost an electron!" The other asks, "Are you sure?", to which the first replies, "I'm positive."
Renee Descartes walks into a bar, the bartender says "sir can I get you a martini "Descartes says "I don't think..." and he disappears
Where does bad light end up? Answer: In a prism!
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says "Do you know how fast you were going?" more...