Court Room Jokes
Merck, the drug company that made Vioxx, is getting a new trial. A judge ruled that the $50 million awarded to a man who had a heart attack after taking Vioxx was "grossly excessive."
Merck's former CEO, Ray Gilmartin, who made $37 million plus stock options in that same year, agreed with the verdict, saying, "The guy who suffered a heart attack shouldn't make more than the guy who caused it."
Convicted Enron exec Jeff Skilling said that in 2004, he considered suicide. When told whose call she took that fateful day, the 911 operator who talked Skilling out of taking his life immediately took her own.
A man who robbed Antoine Walker at gunpoint has been sentenced to 21 years in prison. No word on the sentence Walker will receive for robbing Boston, Dallas, Atlanta, Miami, and Minnesota.
Giants defensive end Michael Strahan and wife Jean are battling over how much of his assets and $7 million annual salary she will get in the divorce settlement. Jean called a lawyer for counseling. Michael called O.J.
Joe Francis, the founder of the "Girls Gone Wild" video empire, was sentenced to community service for failing to monitor the ages of the women when he shot his videos. Many were 17 at the time.
Francis will also make a video called "Dads Gone Apoplectic", a collection of fathers' reactions when seeing their perfect little princesses hammered, topless and lezzing it up in a hot tub. Proceeds will go to memory-erasing drug research.