Country Jokes / Recent Jokes
(Passing requires 4 correct answers...)
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get catgut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Atlantic are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get catgut? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Atlantic are named after what animal? Dogs
7) What was King George VI's more...
Saddam Hussain approached God and asked him "When will peace return to my country ?" God answered
"You can never see peace in your country during your life time"Saddam wept bitterly and walked away.
Nawaz Sharif approached God
"When can I see a united Pakistan (with Kashmir) ?"God said
"You can never annex Kashmir during your life time"Sharif wept bitterly and walked away.
Next our Laloo Prasad Yadav approached God "When will Bihar become a civilized state ?"
God wept bitterly and said
"I can never see that happening even during MY life time"
The United Airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays, that would be super." On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed, rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground." She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one." To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Now put the tray up, more...
I couldn't work out whether to laugh or be offended by some of these!
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH
1.Two World Wars and One World Cup, doo-dah doo-dah.
3.You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.
4.You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events
5.Union jack underpants.
6.Water shortages guaranteed every single summer
7.You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
8.Bathing once a week-whether you need to or not.
9.Ditto changing underwear
10.Beats being Welsh.
10a. Or Scottish
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH
1.When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
2.Experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time.
3.You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.
4.If there's a war you can surrender really early.
5.You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on SBS
6.You can more...
Piloo Mody was a weighty man with a mind as nimble as his body. During one of the interludes in an otherwise very serious conference in parliament, he regaled everyone with his plea for a Parsi State. This is how it went:
'This country should be handed over to the Parsis - on a managing agency basis. We will charge only a five per cent managing agency commission, which is a hell of a lot less than the Government of India spends on administration.'' For this, we will give you a clean, honest, impartial and non-discriminatory government. There are only a hundred thousand of us, and after we satiate ourselves with corruption and nepotism, there will still be enough left over for everyone else.' We are the most non-communal community in the world. We believe that either you are a Parsi or you are not. If you are not, it makes no hoot of a difference who you are.' Go ahead, go breaking up this country into a hundred parts. Finally our turn will come.'' Then we will demand a Parsi more...
A city mouse had a country mouse stay for the weekend, and spent the whole time offering urban advice. On the last evening of the country mouse's visit, they were dining in the kitchen when in
came the largest cat the country mouse had ever seen.
"Don't panic," said the town mouse, "Leave this to me."
Marching up to the cat she said, "Bow wow wow wow! The cat turned and ran from the room.
"How did you do that?" asked the country mouse.
"Like I told you," said the town mouse, "it pays to learn a second language."
A new American ambassador was being entertained by an African diplomat. They'd spent the day discussing what the country had received from the Russians before the new government kicked them out. "The Russians built us a power plant, a highway, and an airport. Plus, we learned to drink vodka and play Russian roulette."
The American frowned. "Russian roulette's not a very nice game." The diplomat smiled. "That's why we developed African roulette. If you want to have good relations with our country, you'll have to play.
"I'll show you how."
He pushed a buzzer, and a moment later, six magnificently built, nude women were ushered in. "You can choose any one of those women to give you oral sex," he told the American.
"That's great," the ambassador said, "but it doesn't seem much like Russian roulette."
"Oh, it is. One of them is a cannibal!!!