Costumes Jokes / Recent Jokes

...retailers are reporting that the 3 most popular Halloween costumes for 2009 are Harry Potter, Star Trek, and the Bernie Madoff. The Bernie Madoff costume kit comes with 3 flies which you put on your shoulder and then go as a piece of shit.

Preserving the Egg of LifeObviously, Football is a syndrome of religious rites symbolizing thestruggle to preserve the Egg of Life through the rigors of impendingwinter. The rites begin at the Autumn Equinox and culminate on thefirst day of the New Year, with great festivals identified with bowlsof plenty. The festivals are associated with flowers such as roses; fruits such as oranges; farm crops such as cotton; and even sun-worshipand appeasement of great reptiles such as alligators. In these rites, the Egg of Life is symbolized by what is called"The Oval", an inflated bladder covered with hog skin. The conventionof "The Oval" is repeated in the architectural oval-shaped design ofthe vast outdoor churches in which the services are held every sabbathin every town and city. Also every Sunday in the greater centers ofpopulation where an advanced priesthood performs. These enormouschurches dominate every college campus; no other edifice compares insize with them, and more...

One Halloween two black children, a brother and a sister, were trick-or-treating as Hansel and Gretel. They came to the first house and knocked on the door. The old lady that answered said, "Children! Go back home and tell your momma that Hansel and Gretel weren't black!"
They went home and told their mother. She pulled out their Romeo and Juliet costumes from last year and quickly got them re-dressed. They went back to the old lady's house where she came to the door and again she said, "Children! Go back home and tell your momma that Romeo and Juliet weren't black!"
Again they went home and told their mother. This time, their mother said "I'll fix that mean old lady. Give me your clothes."
The boy and his sister took off their costumes and their mother sent them back to the old lady's house without a stitch of clothing to wear. They knocked on the door and the old lady answered. "CHILDREN!!" she said. "You're both naked! Now more...

Preserving the Egg of LifeObviously, Football is a syndrome of religious rites symbolizing thestruggle to preserve the Egg of Life through the rigors of impendingwinter. The rites begin at the Autumn Equinox and culminate on thefirst day of the New Year, with great festivals identified with bowlsof plenty. The festivals are associated with flowers such as roses;fruits such as oranges; farm crops such as cotton; and even sun-worshipand appeasement of great reptiles such as alligators.In these rites, the Egg of Life is symbolized by what is called"The Oval", an inflated bladder covered with hog skin. The conventionof "The Oval" is repeated in the architectural oval-shaped design ofthe vast outdoor churches in which the services are held every sabbathin every town and city. Also every Sunday in the greater centers ofpopulation where an advanced priesthood performs. These enormouschurches dominate every college campus; no other edifice compares insize with them, and more...

Two men from the bronx go to a costume party
but the bouncer wont let them as he says they need costumes.
so one of them splats a custard on his crotch while the other sticks his shlong through a pear sop they go to the party and the bouncer says "what are your costumes?"
the sustard guy says "im fuckin discustad and the pair guy says "im in dispair"
oohhhh that was baaaaaddd!