Corporal Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Mueller is traveling with his wife and mother-in-law in a far eastern country. At a place of honor his mother-in-law makes a careless remark, which the native people take as an insult to the royal family.
    Mueller is dragged off to court with his wife and mother-in-law and are sentenced to corporal punishment. Each of them are to recieve 50 lashes on the rear end with a cane. But because the royal family doesn't want to appear hostile to foreigners, they grant the guests in their country a wish beforehand, as long as it is able to be fulfilled.
    Mrs. Mueller is first. "What do you wish for yourself?"
    "I would like a pillow bound on my rear end before the lashings."
    "Okay, that shall be granted to you."
    Mrs. Mueller has the pillow bound to her rear end and receives her punishment. But because the pillow is too small and the executioner also hits her back a couple of times, she receives a few blows.
    Next it is Mueller's mother-in-law's more...

    A career military man, who had retired as a Corporal, was explaining to the younger men how he handled officers during his years of service.
    "It didn't matter to me whether he was a Major General, an Admiral, or the Commander-In-Chief. I always told those guys exactly where to get off," he stated.
    "Wow, you really must have been something," the admiring young soldiers commented. "What was your job in the service, Sir?"
    "I was the elevator operator at the Pentagon," the retired Corporal proudly replied.

    A group of soldiers began digging foxholes for pending war games. Two privates working side by side dug their holes to standard depth.
    A third man, a corporal, dug his foxhole so deep that only his shovel tip was visible as he ejected the dirt. Curiosity got the best of the two privates. When their sergeant passed by, one spoke up. "Um, sergeant, sir, can you tell us what's with the corporal? He seems to have gotten carried away."
    "Oh, he'll be okay in a few minutes," the sergeant said. "He suffers from corporal tunnel syndrome."

    A new lieutenent in the French Foreign Legion arrives at an isolated base in Algeria. As a corporal shows him is quarters, he asks the corporal, "The base is rather isolated, what do the men do for female companionship?"The corporal replies, "On Fridays, they let us use the camels."The lieutenent can't beleive it. On Friday, he stands around the camel pen to see what happens. Suddenly, he hears the camp bugler blow a charge on his horn.The ensuing chaos was amazing... men from all over the camp decended on the camel pens like huns attacking a village. Out of the swarm of men, the lieutenent sees the same corporal he met on his first day. He grabs the man by the arm. The corporal shouts, "Let me go! Let me go!""Good God man," said the lieutenent. "There are 200 men here and 500 camels. What's your hurry?"The corporal replied, "I don't want to get stuck with an ugly one!"

    A new lieutenent in the French Foreign Legion arrives at an isolated base in Algeria. As a corporal shows him quarters, he asks the corporal, "The base is rather isolated, what do the men do for female companionship?"The corporal replies, "On Fridays, they let us use the camels."The lieutentent is disgusted, but says nothing. After a few weeks, however, the new officer is very lonely. He decides that if everyone else is doing it, why shouldn't he.The next friday, the young lieutentent slinks over to the camel pens and, after looking around, drops his pants and starts humping a female camel. The camel is not amused and makes a huge uproar.The same corporal comes in to investigate. "Lieutenent! What are you doing.""Come on man," replied the embarrased officer, "You yourself told me we could use the camels on Fridays.""Yes sir," replied the corporal. "But most of us just ride them into town."

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