Copper Jokes

Q: How was copper wire invented?

A: Two lawyers arguing over a penny.

Silver Nitrate
(to the tune of "Silver Bells")

Silver nitrate, silver nitrate
it's chemistry time in the lab
Ding-a-ling, with a copper ring
soon it will be chemistry day.

Take your nitrate, in solution
Add your copper with style
In the beaker there's a feeling of reactions
silver forming, blue solution
Bringing ooh's ah's and wows
now the data procesing begins.

Get the mass, change to moles
what is the ratio with copper?
Write an equation, balance it
we're glad it's Chemistry Day.

Silver Nitrate
(to the tune of "Silver Bells")
Silver nitrate, silver nitrate
it's chemistry time in the lab
Ding-a-ling, with a copper ring
soon it will be chemistry day.
Take your nitrate, in solution
Add your copper with style
In the beaker there's a feeling of reactions
silver forming, blue solution
Bringing ooh's ah's and wows
now the data procesing begins.
Get the mass, change to moles
what is the ratio with copper?
Write an equation, balance it
we're glad it's Chemistry Day.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee? A: A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
Q: How was copper wire invented?
A: Two lawyers arguing over a penny.
Q: What do you get if you beat the shit out of a lawyer?
A: An empty suit.
Four out of five doctors say that if they were stranded on a deserted island with no lawyers, they wouldn't need any aspirin.
Q: What do lawyers and bullfrogs have in common?
A: Both have a big head that consists mostly of mouth.
Q: Why is it dangerous for lawyers to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working?
A: The plumbers might connect the drain line to the wrong suer.
Q: What do you get if you cross a lawyer with a drunk pig?
A: Nothing. There are some things even a drunk pig won't do.
Q: What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
A: They're both squirmy, both live in slime, and only one in 250 million accomplishes anything more...

The Island of Copper Sand is a great country. It once had a government so loved by
people, that it governed the country for 17 years until the society became a
Dharmista Samajaya (a just society).
The Minister for Land, Land Development and Great-Sand was a very honest person
named "Village-Leader District-Leader". These Copper-Sandinians used to have
very peculiar names such as "Vitory-Improver", "Love-Slave", "Treasury-Leader",
"Inner-Muddlier" etc. etc.
Once a minister from an African country paid an official visit to Cooper Sand. This
minister, being the minister for Construction and Land Development in his country
was very much interested in visiting the Great-Sand Project that consisted of
several vast dams in various places of the island. The funds for those gigantic
projects were provided by the Bank de Globe.
So, obviously the Copper Sand counterpart, more...