Constipation Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A Bama Graduate was suffering from constipation, so his doctor prescribed suppositories.
    A week later the grad complained to the doctor that they didn't produce the desired results. "Have you been taking them regularly?" the doctor asked.
    "What do you think I've been doing," the grad said, "Shoving them up my ass!"

    A Bama Graduate was suffering from constipation, so his doctor prescribed suppositories.A week later the grad complained to the doctor that they didn't produce the desired results. "Have you been taking them regularly?" the doctor asked."What do you think I've been doing," the grad said, "Shoving them up my ass!"

    A nun walks into a liquor store and asks to buy a fifth of whiskey. She says it's for Mother Superior's constipation, so the owner says ok. She buys the booze and leaves. Two hours later, the owner closes store and walks through the park on his way home. As he's walking, he spots the same nun sitting on a park bench, roaring drunk. "Shame on you, Sister", he says, "I thought that whiskey was for Mother Superior's constipation." "It is," she slurrs. "When she sees me, she'll crap!"

    An old lady went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation.
    "It's terrible," she said, "I haven't moved my bowels in a week."
    "I see. Have you done anything about it?" asked the doctor.
    "Naturally," she replied, "I sit in the bathroom for a half- hour in the morning and again at night."
    "No," the doctor said, "I mean do you take anything?"
    "Naturally," she answered, "I take a book."

    Banta, a construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm constipated."
    The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, "Lean over the table."
    Banta leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the ass with a bat, CRACK, CRACK, CRACK..., and then sends him into the bathroom.
    Banta comes out a few minutes later and says, "Doc, I feel great. What should I do to prevent constipation ?"
    The doctor says, "Stop wiping with cement bags."

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