Compliment Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Smart compliment

    Hot 5 years ago

    At the conclusion of the sermon, the worshipers filed out of the sanctuary to greet the minister.
    As one of them left, he shook the minister's hand, thanked him for the sermon and said, "Thanks for the message, Reverend. You know, you must be smarter than Einstein."
    Beaming with pride, the minister said, "Why, thank you, brother!"
    As the week went by, the minister began to think about the man's compliment. The more he thought, the more he became baffled as to why anyone would deem him smarter than Einstein. So he decided to ask the man the following Sunday.
    The next Sunday he asked the parishioner if he remembered the previous Sunday's comment about the sermon.
    The parishioner replied that he did.
    The minister asked, "Exactly what did you mean that I must be smarter than Einstein?"
    The man replied, "Well, Reverend, they say that Einstein was so smart that only ten people in the entire world could understand him. But more...

    Always look like a Shiseido Spokes model: he would be proud to take the girl around shopping and showing her off. Never be taller than him: it makes him look bad. Compliment! Tell him that his little Honda Civic is a lot sportier looking than the Porsche. Have him upgrade the civic to a prelude his senior year and when he graduates persuade him to get a Supra. Buy him clothes Dead Rap stars would wear: Polo, Hilfinger, Nautica, Nikes, Timberlands, and Quicksilver (close enough to big brand names). Never use more hair products than he does. Tell him his baggy clothes makes him look bigger. (BTW, from tric) Talk to him in a way that allows him to use what little of Japanese (any Asian language ) he knows. Tell him that he's different from the other white guys on the street. The special white guy you love. Compliment him on both his shirts... the button long sleeve one, and the print t-shirt he has on underneath. Make them think that because they understand your "culture", they more...

    Two high-school buddies were attending the senior prom.
    "Suzy wants to go out to my car. She's really hot," one boy said. "I'm really nervous. I know I'll goof up!"
    "Take it easy," his friend assured him. "All you gotta do is compliment her. Chicks love to be complimented. You'll have her in the palm of your hand."
    About a half-hour later the young man came back, rubbing a black eye.
    "Shit, man! What happened to you?!" his buddy asked.
    "I took your advice."
    "Didn't you compliment her?"
    "Sure I did. We got in my car and started kissing. I told her that for such full lips, hers sure tasted sweet. She liked that. After a while I started feeling her tits, and I told her that for such large breasts they sure were firm. She like that too."
    "It sounds like you were doing great," his friend said.
    "Well," the other answered, "that's when everything went more...

    A lady is working hard in her office when a co-worker tells her that her hair smells good. Immediately, she goes to her boss and tells him that she has been sexually harassed.

    "How?" asks the boss.

    "He said my hair smells good," replied the lady.

    "Wouldn't you take that as a compliment?"

    "Normally I would, but he's a midget."

    Men
    1. All men are extremely busy.
    2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
    3. Although they still have time for women, they don't really care for them.
    4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.
    5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.
    Women:
    1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
    2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
    3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
    4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
    5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "an old rag".
    6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.
    7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't more...

  • Recent Activity