Companion Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Return the Dog

    Hot 4 years ago

    Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves. They had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one. They asked for a well-trained birddog, and got one. The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it out. The dog didn't work. No matter how hard they tried, it just didn't follow their commands. They became really frustrated and one of the blondes said to her companion, "Okay, we'll give him one more try. We'll throw him in the air one more time and if he doesn't fly, we're taking him back to the store!" Blonde
    Return the Dog "Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves. They had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one. They asked for a well-trained birddog, and got one. The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it more...

    Tracy

    Hot 4 years ago

    It was Tracy's first crossing, and he was assigned to a table with a suave Frenchman. The first night out, the Frenchman rose, bowed slightly, and said, "Bon appetit."Tracy got to his feet, bowed and said, "Tracy."
    The following morning, at breakfast, then at lunch and again at dinner, the ceremony was repeated and Tracy found his politeness wearing a little thin. "It's beginning to annoy me," he told a companion in the lounge. "Same thing over and over: he tells me his name, Bon appetit, I tell him mine and we do it all over again at the next meal."
    His companion, a bit more worldly than Tracy, laughed. "He's not introducing himself. Bon appetit is French for' good appetite.' He's hoping that you enjoy your meal."
    Tracy felt pretty silly. The next morning when he appeared at breakfast, the Frenchman was already seated. Tracy bowed and said, "Bon appetit." Whereupon the Frenchman jumped up, bowed and answered, more...

    A woman had grown tired of living alone and decided she would like to have a companion to share her home with. She placed an ad in the newspaper outlining her requirements. What she wanted was a man who: 1) would treat her nicely, 2) wouldn't run away from her, 3) was good in bed.
    A couple of days later, she heard her doorbell. When she answered it, she saw before her a man in a wheelchair who had no arms and no legs.
    "Hello," said the man. "I'm here regarding your ad in the newspaper. As you can plainly see, I have no arms so I could never beat you and I have no legs so I could never run away from you."
    "Yes, I see that, but are you any good in bed?" she asked.
    "Lady, how do you think I rang the doorbell!" he replied.

    Where Pets Came From

    Hot 6 years ago

    Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."
    And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves."
    And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.
    And it was a good animal.
    And God was pleased.
    And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.
    And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."
    And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this new animal more...

    At the dawn of time, Adam is in the garden of Eden with all theanimals. It is an absolute paradise, with the beauty of nature allaround, but Adam still feels there's something amiss, so he says to God "Hey God! There's something not quite right here still. I feel I need a companion, someone who will love me, care about me, always be there, always understand."
    "That's quite a tough request", says God, "and it's going to cost you."
    "How much?", says Adam.
    "It'll cost you an arm and a leg", says God.
    "That's a bit steep - I don't think I can afford that", says Adam. "What can I get for a rib?"

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