Commute Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Retiring from a big corporate job in LA, Marvin moves to Tel Aviv. (So nu, you were thinking maybe he'd move to a kibbutz?)
    Wanting to contribute to nation-building somehow he focuses on stock-trading, the only vocation he knows. But, to commute to his new humble penthouse office, he refuses to drive a Mercedes like everyone else so he buys himself... a camel.
    Every night Marvin parks his camel in the garage under his Tel Aviv Condo and the next morning he mounts the camel for the commute to his new office in Ramat Gan.
    One day Marvin comes down to the parking garage and the camel is gone... stolen!
    He calls the police who arrive within minutes. The first question is "What color was your camel?"
    Marvin replies he doesn't remember, "Probably camel colored I guess... sort of brownish-greyish."
    "And how many humps on your camel?' asks the policeman.
    "Who counts humps... one, maybe two, I don't know for sure."
    "And more...

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    Silicon Valley Mottos:
    - - - - - - - - - - - -
    W I N N E R
    Where quality is Job One-Point-One
    Maurice Herlihy

    H O N O R A B L E __M E N T I O N S

    ''It Compiles. Ship It''
    Doug Sheppard

    Artificial intelligence-when you just can't get the real thing
    Nancy Ott

    Sleep is for the weak
    Robert Zazueta

    I came, I saw, IPO
    Andy Halushka

    Go Public or Perish
    John R. Wodziak

    If at first you don't succeed, go for a second round
    Rex Hill

    Where the world comes to pay more for housing
    Dana Spradley

    Give me your contract-hired, your poor-before, your not-so-subtle badasses
    Kimberly Green

    Spinning sand into gold
    Sue Clark

    Lies, damned lies, and market caps
    Alex Strasheim

    Silicon Valley: commute, compute, commute
    David Kenney

    Come for the overtaxing work environment, stay for the more...

    A recent college graduate took a new job in a hilly Eastern city and began commuting each day to work through a tiring array of tunnels, bridges and traffic jams. To make the task less onerous, he invited several of his coworkers to share the ride. He soon found, however, that the commute continued to get more stressful, especially the trips through the tunnels.

    He consulted the company doctor. "Doc," the frustrated commuter complained, "I'm fine on the bridges, in the traffic, in the day and at night, and even when Joe forgets to bathe all week long. But when I get in the tunnels and I've got those four other guys crowded around me in the car, I get anxious and dizzy and feel like I'm going to explode."

    ? Without further analysis, the doctor announced he had identified the ailment. "What is it, Doc? Am I going insane?"

    "No, no, no, my boy. You have something very common in these parts."

    "Tell me! more...

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