Communion Jokes

My 2 1/2-year-old niece, Kelli, went with a neighbor girl to church for First
Communion practice. The pastor has the children cup their hands, and when he gives them the Host - in this case, a piece of bread - he says, “God be with you.”Apparently this made quite an impression on my niece. She came home and told her mother to cup her hands and bend down. Kelli took a piece of bread from her sandwich, placed it in her mother's hands, and whispered, in her most angelic voice, “God will get you.”

You might be a redneck if your congregation uses shot glasses for communion.

Have you heard about the new low-fat communion bread?, "Have you heard about the new low-fat communion bread?
It's called "I Can't Believe It's Not Jesus"!

One day Nasrudin was walking along a deserted road. Night was
falling as he spied a troop of horsemen coming toward him. His
imagination began to work, and he feared that they might rob him,
or impress him into the army. So strong did this fear become that
he leaped over a wall and found himself in a graveyard. The other
travelers, innocent of any such motive as had been assumed by
Nasrudin, became curious and pursued him.
When they came upon him lying motionaless, one said, "Can we help
you? And, why are you here in this position?"
Nasrudin, realizing his mistake said, "It is more complicated
than you assume. You see, I am here because of you; and you, you
are here because of me."
------------------------------------------------------
EVEN THE INNOCENCE HAVE GUILT
One day he disagreed with the prior of a monastery at which he
was staying. Shortly afterward, a bag of rice was missing. more...

Roman Catholic Bishop Thomas Tobin asked Rep Patrick Kennedy not to receive Holy Communion because of his support for abortion rights. The bishop had also asked Patricks's father Ted Kennedy not to receive Holy Commuion--not because of his support for abortion rights, but because he would drink all the wine from the cup.