Commences Jokes

This young swimmer from the Australian Olympic team manages to sneak his new girlfriend, a gorgeous Danish gymnast, into his room at the Olympic Village.

Once she's inside, he quickly switches out all the lights and they rapidly disrobe and leap onto his bed in a flurry of athletic achievement.

After about twenty minutes of wild sex they both collapse back on the bed in exhaustion. The girl looks admiringly across at the swimmer in the dim light. His beautifully-developed muscles, tanned skin and smooth-shaven scalp glisten with little beads of sweat as he lays beside her. She's really pleased to have met this guy.

At this point the swimmer slowly struggles up from the bed. He fumbles the lid off a bottle on the bedside table, pours himself a small shot in a glass and drinks it down in one gulp. Then he stands bolt upright, takes a deep breath and, in a surprisingly energetic motion, dives under the bed, climbing out the other side and beating his more...

A guy enters a bar, sits down and commences to check out the scenery. He can't help but notice a very nice looking and shapely blonde sitting at the end of the bar. The bartender comes up to the guy and says, "What can I get for you?" The guy replies, "Get me a bourbon and water, and while you're at it, I want to buy that 'douche-bag' at the end of the bar a drink too."
The bartender commences to berate the guy, saying, "That nice looking blonde at the end of the bar just came in today and she's the nicest looking thing that's come in this bar for a long time. I don't want a customer's insults causing her to want to leave!" The guy apologizes and tells the bartender to please ask the beautiful young woman if he can buy her a drink.
The bartender approaches the blonde and says, "The guy who just walked in is offering to buy you a drink."
She looks down at the guy, smiles and winks, and says to the bartender, "How nice of him. more...