Commandant Jokes

A DIG and a Commandant of the Armed Police were relaxing on the lawns of the Mess. The conversation turned towards the orderlies a short while later. Each one claimed that his orderly was a fool. The two decided to compare. The Commandant called for his orderly and said,' Ram Singh, here is a ten-rupee note. Go and purchase an Ambassador car from the market right now and bring it here.'
'Right, Sir,' said the orderly. He took the note from the officer, saluted and went back.
Then the DIG called his orderly and told him,' Prem Singh, go to my office and see whether I am sitting there or not.'
'Right, Sir,' the orderly said and went back.
The two officers had a hearty laugh, not realising that the orderlies were talking outside.
Ram Singh was saying,' Prem Singh, look at my stupid boss. He doesn't even know that the market is closed today and the car cannot be bought.'
'And look at my boss, Ram Singh. He wants me to go and see whether he is in his office or more...

(best done with exaggerated English & German accents)
An English P.O.W. is in a German hospital with serious injuries. The
doctor comes into his room and says, "The news iss bad. Ve are going to
have to amputate your leg." The Brit replies "Right then. War is hell and
all that malarkey. But could you ask your commandant if he wouldn't find
it to much of a bother to drop it over my beloved homeland when he goes on
his next bombing mission?" Off goes the doctor, and with the commandant's
permission, they fulfill his request.
A few days later, the doctor returns into his room and says, "More bad news.
Ve are going to have to amputate your other leg." The Brit replies "Right
then. War is hell and all that malarkey. Could you ask your commandant
if he wouldn't mind terribly if he could drop it over my beloved homeland
when he goes on his next bombing mission?" Off goes the doctor, and more...