Comedian Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    eariler this week i went to the guy who inveted the hokey pokey's funeral. It was a weird funeral. First they put his left leg in, then took his left leg out, they put his left leg in and they shaked it all about.Then they put his right leg in and then his right leg out, they put his left leg in and they shook it all about, and so on and so forth until he was totally in

    Marmite Competition

    Hot 3 years ago

    I was in a good mood last week. I entered a competition and won a years supply of marmite... one jar!

    A young comedian boards a bus, and immediately notices that he is surrounded by blondes. When he sits down, the neighboring blonde asks him to tell the whole bus a joke. The comedian, realizing that only blonde jokes are coming to him, decides to say blond joke in a different way.
    The moment he starts his first joke, a blonde sitting in the front seat whacks him in the head and shouts,
    "Are we dead, that your making jokes on others!?"

    An escalator can never break; it can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator temporarily out of order" sign, just "Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience."-Mitch Hedberg

    At school, a teacher puts up a question on the board every Friday. Whoever gets it correct, gets to go home early, and stay home till Monday. The teacher puts up questions so hard, that the kids can't answer it.
    One day a kid went home, took 2 golf balls, spray-painted it black, put it in a brown bag and went to school. Before the teacher put up the question the boy rolled the 2 golf balls to the front of the room.
    The teacher saw it, and asked, "
    Who's the comedian with the black balls?"
    The kidd stood up, and said, "
    Bill Cosby!"
    And he went home for the day.

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