Coats Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    60 above
    Floridians wear coats, gloves and woolly hats.
    People in Canada sunbathe
    50 above:
    New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
    People in Canada plant gardens.
    40 above:
    Italian cars won't start.
    Canadians drive with the windows down.
    32 above:
    Distilled water freezes.
    The Saskatchewan River water gets thicker.
    20 above:
    Californians shiver uncontrollably.
    Canadians have the last cook-out before it gets cold.
    15 above:
    New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
    Canadians throw on a sweatshirt.
    -0 -
    Californians fly away to Mexico.
    People in Canada lick the flagpole.
    20 below:
    People in Miami cease to exist.
    Canadians get out their winter coats.
    40 below:
    Hollywood disintegrates.
    Canada's Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
    60 below:
    Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica.
    Canadian Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets more...

    Painting

    Hot 5 years ago

    One day in summer, Jack was going to visit his friend John. When he got to his house, he saw John, who was dressed in his warmest winter coats.
    "What are you doing? Are you nuts? It's the middle of summer!" cried Jack.
    "I am painting my house. And on the can, it says you must put two coats on."

    What is a Cat?

    1. Cats do what they want.
    2. They rarely listen to you.
    3. They're totally unpredictable.
    4. They whine when they are not happy.
    5. When you want to play they want to be alone.
    6. When you want to be alone they want to play.
    7. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
    8. They're moody.
    9. They leave hair everywhere.
    10. They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.

    Conclusion: They're tiny women in little fur coats.

    ~ ~ ~ ~

    What is a Dog?

    1. Dogs lie around all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
    2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
    3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
    4. They growl when they are not happy.
    5. When you want to play they want to play.
    6. When you want to be alone they want to play.
    7. They are more...

    CATS, DOGS & HUMANS
    1. What is a cat?
    Cats do what they want.
    They rarely listen to you.
    They are totally unpredictable.
    When you want to play, they want to be alone.
    When you want to be alone, they want to play.
    They expect you to cater to their every whim.
    They are moody.
    They leave hair everywhere.
    They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.
    Conclusion: They are tiny women in fur coats.
    ---
    2. What is a dog?
    Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable
    piece of furniture in the house.
    They can hear a package of food opening half a block away,
    but they don't hear you when you are in the same room.
    They growl when they are not happy.
    When you want to play, they want to play.
    When you want to be alone, they want to play.
    They are great at begging.
    They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.
    They leave their toys everywhere.
    They do disgusting things with their more...

    A blonde decides to show her husband that despite what everyone says, blondes really are smart. While her husband is at work, she decides that she is going to paint the living room in their house. So the next day as soon as he leaves, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home after work and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a parka and a mink. He asks her what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the room. He says that he was impressed at the good job she had done, but what's with her wearing the two coats?
    She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, ''FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS!''

  • Recent Activity