Cleared Jokes / Recent Jokes

Yao Ming has been cleared to play. But he's so weak as a Rocket, fans now think he's from North Korea.

(source: Rex Loring, former RAF pilot)
Air-to-ground conversation involving BOAC pilot approaching Karachi
(Pakistan) International Airport:
Pilot: Speedbird 7-0-7 here. Request permission to land on runway 42-
Left.
Tower: Sorry, Speedbird 7-0-7. Runway 42-Left is closed. There was an
unfortunate incident yesterday. But you are cleared for landing on runway
19-Right.
Pilot: Roger Karachi tower. Proceeding on approach pattern.
[As the pilot enters final approach, he is appalled to see a 747 taking
off from that runway and heading straight at him. After taking violent
evasive action, the conversation resumes]
Pilot: Karachi Tower. What is going on ?? You cleared me for landing
on runway 19-Right, but there was another plane taking off from there !!!
Tower: Oh dear. I do hope we will not have a repeat of yesterday.

Fly the Friendly Skies in your Cessna And who says our controllers don't have a sense of humor?
November 22, 1996 - Any More Complaints? The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a 360 (do a complete circle, usually done to provide spacing between aircraft). The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a 360 in this airplane?" Without missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth."
November 15, 1996 - What the...?! PSA was following United, taxiing out for departure. PSA called the tower and said "Tower, this is United 586. We've got a little problem, so go ahead and let PSA go first." The tower promptly cleared PSA fortakeoff before United had a chance to object to the impersonation.
November 8, 1996 - Which Exit Did You Say That Was? A DC-10 had an exceedingly long landing rollout after landing with his approach speed just a little too more...

(Supposedly a true story - then again, aren't they all?)
This Certified Flight Instructor and his Student are holding on the runway for
departing cross traffic when suddenly a deer runs out of the nearby woods, stops
in the middle of the runway, and just stands there looking at them.
Tower: "Cessna XXX cleared for take-off."
Std: "What should I do? What should I do?"
Inst: "What do you think you should do?"
(Think-think-think.)
Std: "Maybe if I taxi toward him it'll scare him away."
Inst: "That's a good idea."
(Taxis toward deer, but deer is macho, and holds position.)
Tower: "Cessna XXX cleared for take-off, runway NN."
Std: "What should I do? What should I do?"
Inst: "What do you think you should do?"
(Think-think-think.)
Std: "Maybe I should tell the tower."
Inst: "That's a good idea."
Std: more...

Tim Tebow has been cleared to practice for the University of Florida. No word yet on when he'll be cleared to continue healing lepers and walking on water.