Cleanliness Jokes / Recent Jokes

Skicurow Denizen

Hot 3 years ago

After acquiring enough money from handouts, an inhabitant of the Bowery decided to take his refreshment at one of Wall Street's better drinking establishments.
A financial tycoon seated next to him was visibly appalled at the appearance and odor of the down-and-outer; so much so, in fact, that he turned to the man and pointedly said, "' Cleanliness is next to godliness'-John Wesley." His words were ignored.
A few minutes later, the financier again intoned loudly, "' Cleanliness is next to godliness'-John Wesley." Still he was ignored.
Finally, the visibly irritated financier shouted in the man's face: "' Cleanliness is next to godliness'-John Wesley!"
To which the skicUrow denizen calmly replied, "' Screw you'- Tennessee Williams."

Impeccable Cleanliness

Hot 3 years ago

Impressed by the impeccable cleanliness of the restaurant, the customer summoned his waiter over to the table to compliment him.
"We take pride in our sanitary precautions," the waiter explained. "For example, the manager makes us carry a spoon, so we don't have to touch the food we serve, and we even have a string attached to our pants fly, so that we don't touch the zipper."
"But how do you get it back into your trousers?" the customer whispered.
"Don't know about the others," the waiter replied, "but I use my spoon."

A great Soviet general was once asked by his adjutant, "Comrade General,
what is the meaning of Marxist dialectic?"
The general replied, "I will explain it to you with an example. A filthy
man is standing outside a bath house. Will he go in?"
"Of course," replied the adjutant.
"No, you're wrong," said the general. "A filthy man is filthy by his nature,
and will not go in to the bath house. Only clean men, knowing the virtues of
cleanliness, will bathe."
"I understand, comrade general."
"Now, let me give you another example. A filthy man is standing outside
a bath house. Will he go in?"
"Absolutely not," replied the adjutant immediately.
"You're wrong again," said the general. "Why should a filthy man not
enter a bath house? He is dirty, the bath house is there to enable him to
become clean, and he will use it."
"I think I more...

"Cleanliness is next to Godliness"
Why do they say that?
I looked it up in the dictionary, "goggles" is next to "godliness"; cleanliness is next to claustrophobia.