Civic Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Always look like a Shiseido Spokes model: he would be proud to take the girl around shopping and showing her off. Never be taller than him: it makes him look bad. Compliment! Tell him that his little Honda Civic is a lot sportier looking than the Porsche. Have him upgrade the civic to a prelude his senior year and when he graduates persuade him to get a Supra. Buy him clothes Dead Rap stars would wear: Polo, Hilfinger, Nautica, Nikes, Timberlands, and Quicksilver (close enough to big brand names). Never use more hair products than he does. Tell him his baggy clothes makes him look bigger. (BTW, from tric) Talk to him in a way that allows him to use what little of Japanese (any Asian language ) he knows. Tell him that he's different from the other white guys on the street. The special white guy you love. Compliment him on both his shirts... the button long sleeve one, and the print t-shirt he has on underneath. Make them think that because they understand your "culture", they more...

    A FEW years back Bombayites were up in arms against the deteriorating civic amenities of the metropolis. The dug-up roads, mountains of refuse, open man-holes and unhealthy atmosphere in the civic hospitals caused public anger. The newspapers of Bombay also backed the citizens of Bombay and, day in and day out, articles were written about the utter lack of civic amenities inspite of the huge municipal taxes collected by the Corporation.
    In this surcharged atmosphere, the cross road between Bandstand and Hill road was dug up to lay sewer drains of bigger dimensions-a routine matter for the BMC. The engineer-in-charge hit on an idea and instead of putting up that rickety board "CAUTION MEN AT WORK", he displayed a neat blackboard and wrote in bold letters
    "Citizen-Your Taxes on Work."
    Next morning the engineer found himself oversmarted by some guy who had added one line to the idea: "GOING DOWN THE DRAIN."

    You don't live in Montreal (Ville St-Laurent, Brossard, etc.). You tell your girlfriend that you buy Import Tuner for the cars. You shovel the snow at the last minute to make it to a party. For some reason, you always ask girls out to movies on Tuesday. You lose your friends at parties because everybody dresses the same. You take ages to finish a game at the 1. 00$ pool tables. You rack, break, re-rack when it's 8$ / hour pool. You carry an over-sized purse across your chest. You believe that Apex stands for Asian Pride Exhibitionism. You use the Concordia Library to scope out Asian chicks, even if you don't go to school. You run down to Daniel Amusement as soon as class ends to play silly arcade games. Your summer car is a lowered, tricked-out, nitrous oxide enhanced Integra/Civic/Accord/Prelude/CRX. Your winter car is a used shit box from the mid 80's that's held together with duct tape. You never notice spelling errors on party flyers. You think being a flyer boy definitely makes more...

    What does a blonde call oral sex in a Honda Civic?
    Her Civic Duty

    Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
    Acura Legend - I'm too bland for German cars
    Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires
    Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states
    Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
    Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp
    Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating the hell out of people
    Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a' Vette
    Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis
    Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
    Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather
    Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
    Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special education and voted for Eisenhower
    Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
    Dodge Ram.- Former Civic owner going to get even with all the people who cut him off.
    Ford Explorer - I will more...

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