A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: "When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion."
"I found a bear by the stream," says the minister, "and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him."
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. "Looking back," he says, "maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision."
Once upon a time, two little boys, Sammy and Tim, were sharing a room in the hospital. As they were getting to know each other a little bit, Sammy eventually asked Tim, "Hey Tim, what're you in for?" "I'm getting my tonsils out - I'm a little worried," said Tim. "Oh don't worry about it. I had my tonsils out and it was a blast! I got to eat all the ice cream and jello I wanted for two weeks!"Oh yeah?'' replied Tim. "That's not half-bad. Hey, Sammy, how about you? What're you here for?" "I'm getting a circumcision, whatever that is," Sammy answered."Oh my god, circumcision? I got one of those when I was a baby and I couldn't walk for two years!"
Once upon a time, there was a girl... "Once upon a time, there was a girl who was sleeping in her bedroom... SHE was snoring loudly... Mom regonised the noise and sehe went upstairs to see what was the noise...
After a while she saw that the girl was like a chicken!!!
A handsome young lad went into the hospital for some minor surgery and the day after the procedure, a friend stopped by to see how the guy was doing.
The friend was amazed at the number of Nurses who entered the room in short intervals with refreshments, offers to fluff his pillows, make the bed, give back rubs, etc. "Why all the attention ?" the friend asked. "You look fine to me."
"I know !" grinned the patient. "But the Nurses kinda formed a little fan club when they all heard that my circumcision required thirty-seven stitches."
Two guys are sharing a hospital room."What are you in for?""I'm getting a circumcision.""Damn! I had that done when I was born and I couldn't walk for a year!"
One day in the hospital, two little boys were lying on stretchers next to each other outside of the operating room. The first boy leans over and asks, "What are you in for?""I'm here to get my tonsils out and I'm nervous," the second boy says.The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about! I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you lots of ice cream and
Jell-O. It's a breeze!""Well what are you here for?" the second kid asks."A circumcision." The first kid replys woefully.The second kid says "Wow! I had that done when I was born and I couldn't walk for a year!"