Christie Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Determination
    Talking the boss out of firing you. (Ken Pinkham)
    Anthrax
    The thorax of a certain colonial insect (Gary Hallock)
    Contract
    Follow the prisoner (Phil Hudson)
    Advice
    Pick up a new bad habit (Jay Christie)
    Tangent
    man who has been in the sun. (Lexicon)
    Catacomb
    An implement for grooming felines. (Richard Lederer and James Ertner)
    Disbelief
    How you tell someone what the green stuff on a tree is. (Jay Christie)
    Political
    Scratching your parrot under his wing to make him laugh uncontrolably. (Stan Kegel)
    Jaywalking
    Exercise that brings on that run–down feeling (Robert Meyers)
    Taxi driver
    someone who earns a living by driving customers away. (Lexicon)
    Catatonic
    Your feline's favorite drink (Richard Lederer and James Ertner)
    Console
    Fileted fish served in prison. (Keith Martin)
    Forfeit
    What most animals stand on (Jay Christie)
    Digress
    Tinted artificial turf. (J. A. more...

    ON COURAGE: "They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind." -- Cindy Crawford

    ON SELF-KNOWLEDGE: "Everywhere I went, my cleavage followed. But I learned I am not my cleavage." -- Carole Mallory

    ON POVERTY: "Everyone should have enough money to get plastic surgery." -- Beverly Johnson

    ON FATE: "I wish my butt did not go sideways, but I guess I have to face that." -- Christie Brinkley

    ON ARRIVING: "Because modeling is lucrative, I'm able to save up and be more particular about the acting roles I take." -- Kathy Ireland (star of Alien From L. A. and Danger Island)

    ON CAREER CHOICES: "My boyfriend thinks I lost my true calling to be a librarian." -- Paulina Porizkova

    ON PRIORITIES: "I would rather exercise than read a newspaper." -- Kim Alexis

    ON more...

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