Chili Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man enters a cafe, sits down & notices that the special of the day is cold chili. When the waitress comes to take his order, he says, "I'll take the cold chili." "I'm sorry, the gentlemen next to you got the last bowl," says the waitress. "Oh. I'll just have coffee, then." After a while the man notices that the guy next to him who got the last bowl of cold chili is finishing a rather large meal and the chili bowl is still full. He asks, "Are you going to eat that?"
The other man replies, "No." "Would you sell it to me?" "You can have it for free if you want it."
So the man takes the bowl of chili and begins to eat it. When he gets about half way through the bowl, he notices a dead mouse in the bowl and pukes the chili back into the bowl. The other man says sympathetically, "That's about as far as I got, too."

The Perfect Dump - Every once in a while, each of us experiences a perfect dump, it's rare, but a thing of beauty in all respects. You sit down expecting the worst, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fartless masterpiece that breaks the water with the splashless grace of an expert diver. But that's not the end of it. You use some toilet tissue only to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right with the world and you are in perfect harmony with it.
The Beer Dump - Talk about nasty dumps. Depending on the dumper's tolerance, the beer dump is the end result of too many beers. It could have been 2 or 22, it doesn't matter. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by a malevolent fog that could close a bathroom for days.
The Chili Dump - Hot when it goes in, and rocket fuel when it leaves. The chili dump stays with you all day, making your tush feel like a heat shield.
The Cable Dump - Long, curly and perfectly formed like 2 more...

The Perfect Dump - Every once in a while, each of us experiences a perfect dump, it's rare, but a thing of beauty in all respects. You sit down expecting the worst, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fartless masterpiece that breaks the water with the splashless grace of an expert diver. But that's not the end of it. You use some toilet tissue only to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right with the world and you are in perfect harmony with it.The Beer Dump - Talk about nasty dumps. Depending on the dumper's tolerance, the beer dump is the end result of too many beers. It could have been 2 or 22, it doesn't matter. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by a malevolent fog that could close a bathroom for days.The Chili Dump - Hot when it goes in, and rocket fuel when it leaves. The chili dump stays with you all day, making your tush feel like a heat shield.The Cable Dump - Long, curly and perfectly formed like 2 feet of E13 more...

Like all growing boys, my teenage grandson was constantly hungry, I went to the refrigerator to find something he might like. After poking around a bit and moving the milk and juice cartons, I spotted
a bowl of leftover chili.
I called out to him excitedly. He came running into the kitchen. "Look! I found some chili."
Struggling to be polite, he said, "If you're that surprised, I'm not really sure I want it."

A man walks into a resteraunt and orders a bowl of chili. The waitress tells him that the man in the next booth ordered the last one. He joins the man, see's he has a full bowl and asks "can I have your chili?" the man says sure. The man starts eating until he comes to the bottom of the bowl and see's a dead mouse. He vomits into the bowl, the other man says - yeah, I did the same thing.

A List of Dumps
The Perfect Dump - Every once in a while, each of us experiences a perfect dump, it's rare, but a thing of beauty in all respects. You sit down expecting the worst, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fartless masterpiece that breaks the water with the splashless grace of an expert diver. But that's not the end of it. You use some toilet tissue only to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right with the world and you are in perfect harmony with it.
The Beer Dump - Talk about nasty dumps. Depending on the dumper's tolerance, the beer dump is the end result of too many beers. It could have been 2 or 22, it doesn't matter. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by a malevolent fog that could close a bathroom for days.
The Chili Dump - Hot when it goes in, and rocket fuel when it leaves. The chili dump stays with you all day, making your tush feel like a heat shield.
The Cable Dump - Long, curly and more...

Well, there was this truck driver that had been driving all day and hadn't stopped for lunch or anything and he was getting REAL hungry. He sees this diner and pulls in, walks up to the counter and sits down by this old biker who was staring at a steaming bowl of chili.
The waitress comes up and asks the trucker what he'll have and he looks at that chili and says, "Lady, I am starving to die, here, that chili looks good, I'll have that."
The waitress goes off and comes back with the trucker's steamy bowl of chili that he promptly gulps down. Not satisfied yet, he looks over at the biker who is still staring at his chili. The trucker tells him, "hey, I'm still kind of hungry, if you're not gonna eat that, may I?" and the biker slides the bowl of chili toward the trucker.
Well, the trucker takes his time with this bowl. He gets about half way down and there's this big greasy dog turd in the bowl. The trucker proceeds to barf everything back into the bowl more...