Charge Jokes / Recent Jokes
General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKensie asks: “So how are your men? ”
“Very well trained, Gral. McKenzie. ”
“I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they’re the bravest men all over the country. ” “Well, my men are very brave, too. ”
“I’d like to see that. ”
So Marshall calls private Cooper and says: “Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body! ”
“Are you crazy? It’d kill me, you idiot! I’m out of here! ” As private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered McKenzie and said:
“You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general. ”
General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKensie asks: "So how are your men?" "Very well trained, Gral. McKenzie." "I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." "Well, my men are very brave, too." "I'd like to see that." So Marshall calls private Cooper and says: "Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!""Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered McKenzie and said:"You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."
your momma so stupid, she walked into a baseball game and everyone said charge she ran
A foreman at a construction site gathers three of his workers: an Irishman, an Italian and a Chinese. He says to the Irishman, "you're in charge of Sweeping, I want this whole area swept up before I get back". He says to the Italian, "You're in charge of shoveling. I want that pile shoveled into the truck so they can haul it away." He says to the Chinaman, "You're in charge of supplies. No make sure that all gets done before I get back." Three hours later, he returns and none of the work is done. The Irishman says, "I couldnt find a broom. You left the Chinaman in charge of supplies and he disappeared." The Italian says "And I couldn't find a shovel". So the forman starts walking and looking for the chinaman. Just then, the Chinaman jumps out from behind a pillar and screams "SUPPLIES!!"
A man had called a local paint company and asked if they had anyone who could come over and do some painting that day. The company sent a blonde right over to do the job. The man meet the woman at the front door and asked her how much she would charge him to paint his porch. She stated that she would charge him 25$. He thought to himself "what a deal" since his porch was a long wrap around. The blonde also added that she would be done by the end of the day. The man thought to himself, "this is too good to be true!" and left for work for the day. When he arrived home he noticed that his porch didn't even have a drop of paint on it. He went around the back and shrieked in horror as he seen the blonde putting the last bit of green paint on his new firebird.
"what did you do to my firebird!" shrieked the man.
questioned the blonde.
"...and all this time I thought it was the porsche"
A numbers mob was looking for a runner to pick up betting cash in a new location( A very rich area - Expected around $200,000 in cash daily ). A man was chosen but never showed up with the cash. Mr. Big asked the guy in charge of finding the runner, "Where is my money." The man replied that he didn't know and said that he would find him. The man located the new runner and brought him to Mr. Big's office. Mr. Big said, "Where the fuck is my money? ". The runner looked puzzled and started talking in sign language. Mr. Big said, "What the fuck is this?"The man in charge of hiring the runner explained that he was deaf and dumb and was the only person that he could find to take the job.Mr. Big said, "Do you know how to read sign language?"The man said, " No, but I'll find someone who can. ". He comes back with a female interpreter and Mr. Big asks her to ask the runner where his money is. The girl starts asking him in sign language where more...
A traveller and his wife leave their hotel room and go to the lobby to check out. The traveller puts down a $50 bill and asks for a receipt. The clerk says that his total bill is $75. The traveller explains that the sign advertises all rooms $50/night, tax included. He insisted that his bill is only $50 since he didn't make any telephone calls, didn't charge anything in the restaurant and didn't use the mini bar. The clerk advised that it's for the food that comes with every room.
"But we didn't consume any of the food", said the traveller.
"Well that's too bad. It was there and we charge for it", said the clerk.
"Well then, you owe $75", said the traveller.
"What for?" said the clerk.
"For screwing my wife last night", said the traveller.
The clerk explained that he didn't touch his wife.
"Well to bad, she was there!"