Charge Jokes / Recent Jokes

I heard this joke from a friend two days ago. It is an ethnic joke,
but I am Sefardim myself and we don't take ourselves all that
seriously.
Moshe Kohn opens a Kosher restaurant in London and puts a notice in
the window "ARABS NOT WELCOME"; a couple of days later, a person of
obviously Arab origin walks in and requests a sandwich - so the
cashier quickly runs into Moshe's office asking what to do. Moshe
decides that he really doesn't want a scandal, so he orders "OK, give
him the sandwich, but charge him double - that should teach him."
No sooner said than done.
But the next day the same Arab is back again - this time for a full
lunch; Moshe decides "Charge him triple, he'll get the lesson this
time!" The Arab eats his lunch, pays without a quibble, praises the
food and even asks for a reservation for 10 of his friends for the
same evening. Moshe decides "OK, let him have the reservation, but more...

1. "Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise for the singing of our National Anthem..."
2. Charge 25 cents a cup for coffee.
3. "Charge the mound" when a professor beans you with a high fast question.
4. Describe parts of your thesis using interpretive dance.
5. "Musical accompaniment provided by..."
6. Stage your own death/suicide.
7. Lead the specators in a Wave.
8. Have a sing-a-long.
9. "You call THAT a question? How the hell did they make you a professor?"
10. "Ladies and Gentlemen, as I dim the lights, please hold hands and
concentrate so that we may channel the spirit of Lord Kelvin..."

your momma so stupid, she walked into a baseball game and everyone said charge she ran

A foreman at a construction site gathers three of his workers: an Irishman, an Italian and a Chinese.
He says to the Irishman, "you're in charge of Sweeping, I want this whole area swept up before I get back".
He says to the Italian, "You're in charge of shoveling. I want that pile shoveled into the truck so they can haul it away."
He says to the Chinaman, "You're in charge of supplies. No make sure that all gets done before I get back."
Three hours later, he returns and none of the work is done. The Irishman says, "I couldnt find a broom. You left the Chinaman in charge of supplies and he disappeared." The Italian says "And I couldn't find a shovel".
So the forman starts walking and looking for the chinaman. Just then, the Chinaman jumps out from behind a pillar and screams "SUPPLIES!!"

A foreman at a construction site gathers three of his workers: an Irishman, an Italian and a Chinese. He says to the Irishman, "you're in charge of Sweeping, I want this whole area swept up before I get back". He says to the Italian, "You're in charge of shoveling. I want that pile shoveled into the truck so they can haul it away." He says to the Chinaman, "You're in charge of supplies. No make sure that all gets done before I get back." Three hours later, he returns and none of the work is done. The Irishman says, "I couldnt find a broom. You left the Chinaman in charge of supplies and he disappeared." The Italian says "And I couldn't find a shovel". So the forman starts walking and looking for the chinaman. Just then, the Chinaman jumps out from behind a pillar and screams "SUPPLIES!!"

A man had called a local paint company and asked if they had anyone who could come over and do some painting that day. The company sent a blonde right over to do the job. The man meet the woman at the front door and asked her how much she would charge him to paint his porch. She stated that she would charge him 25$. He thought to himself "what a deal" since his porch was a long wrap around. The blonde also added that she would be done by the end of the day. The man thought to himself, "this is too good to be true!" and left for work for the day. When he arrived home he noticed that his porch didn't even have a drop of paint on it. He went around the back and shrieked in horror as he seen the blonde putting the last bit of green paint on his new firebird.
"what did you do to my firebird!" shrieked the man.
"....Firebird?"
questioned the blonde.
"...and all this time I thought it was the porsche"

A numbers mob was looking for a runner to pick up betting cash in a new location( A very rich area - Expected around $200,000 in cash daily ). A man was chosen but never showed up with the cash. Mr. Big asked the guy in charge of finding the runner, "Where is my money." The man replied that he didn't know and said that he would find him.
The man located the new runner and brought him to Mr. Big's office. Mr. Big said, "Where the fuck is my money? ". The runner looked puzzled and started talking in sign language. Mr. Big said, "What the fuck is this?"
The man in charge of hiring the runner explained that he was deaf and dumb and was the only person that he could find to take the job.
Mr. Big said, "Do you know how to read sign language?"
The man said, " No, but I'll find someone who can. ".
He comes back with a female interpreter and Mr. Big asks her to ask the runner where his money is. The girl starts asking him in more...