Character Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    In the current film, Titanic, the character Rose is shown giving the
    finger to Jack (another character).Many people who have seen the film,
    question whether "giving the finger" was done around the time of the
    Titanic disaster, or was it a more recent gesture invented by some defiant
    seventh-grader. According to research, here's the true story:
    Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory
    over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured
    English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw
    the renowned English longbow and therefore be incapable of fighting in the
    future. This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and
    the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck
    yew").
    Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and
    began mocking the French by waved their middle more...

    Be more concerned about your character than about your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think of you.

    1. Battle droids in a high tech galactic civilisation where FTL travel is common have targeting systems inferior to those on a F-15.

    2. Actually, their targeting systems are inferior to a spastic eight year old with a slingshot.

    3. After the Jedi Knights have proven they can deflect laser bolts with their light sabers, the battle droids never think to stop firing.

    4. Rather than having integral weapons systems, battle droids are cleverly designed to carry weapons that can be picked up and used against them by their opponents.

    5. In the Star Wars universe, "Palpatine" means "Clinton."

    6. A Phantom Menace character's level of annoying goofiness is directly proportional to the number of action figures of said character Lucasfilms hopes to sell to small children.

    7. The Planet Naboo has underwater Rastafarians, but not underwater ganja.

    8. Darth Maul has a black robe, a black shirt, black more...

    Here are rules for The Anime Drinking Game, it is suggested that you only use a few at a time (if you value your liver). The general rules are first followed by the one that are series specific. General Rules: Drink once whenever there is a bath/shower scene. Drink once every time a robot combines/transforms etc. Twice if it is accompanied by the "Synthesized Battle Music Theme". Drink once every time a character says an English word or phrase. Finish the bottle if the word is "Darlin". Drink once whenever you see a sign, computer readout etc. in English. Three times if it's not spelled right. Drink once whenever a Hyperdimensional sledgehammer/16 ton weight/. 44 Automag is used to subdue somebody. Drink once if the big giant robot ends up being piloted by somebody other than the person who was supposed to fly it. Drink once when the background goes abstract for dramatic effect. If the action repeats itself X times, drink X times. Drink once when an unexpected wind more...

    A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.
    After the trial he asked the judge, Does this mean that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?"
    The judge said that was true.
    "Does this mean I cannot call a pig, 'Mrs. Johnson'?" the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig 'Mrs. Johnson' with no fear of legal action.
    The man looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said...
    "Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson!"

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