Carrier Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A vicious German Shepherd dog lived at one house on the mail man's route. The dog was so aggressive the letter carrier feared he would be bitten and the U.S. Postal Service was forced to suspend mail delivery to protect their employee.
    After several weeks of having to pick up their mail at the Post Office, the dog's owner took steps to solve the problem.
    He met the mail man out on the sidewalk and told him he would no longer have to fear the dog being so aggressive because they had its testicles removed.
    "You've got to be kidding," said the letter carrier, "why didn't you have his teeth removed? I wasn't afraid of him screwing me!"
    Lyle's Joke Boutique.

    Access Denied
    This guy calls in to complain that he gets an "Access Denied" message every time he logs in. It turned out he was typing his user name and password in capital letters.
    Tech Support: "OK, let's try once more, but use lower case letters."
    Customer: "Uh, I only have capital letters on my keyboard."
    No Carrier
    Customer: "Hello? I'm trying to dial in. I installed the software okay, and it dialed fine. I could hear that. Then I could hear the two computers connecting. But then the sound all stopped, so I picked up the phone to see if they were still connected, and I got the message, 'No Carrier,' on my screen. What's wrong?"

    It seems that a young man volunteered for military service during World War II. He had such a high aptitude for aviation that he was sent right to Naval Air Station skipping recruit training.
    The very first day at Air station he solos and is the best flier on the base. All they could do was give him his gold wings and assign him immediately to an aircraft carrier in the Pacific.
    On his first day aboard, he took off and single-handedly shot down 6 Japanese Zeroes. Then climbing up to 20,000 ft., he found 9 more Japanese planes and shot them all down as well.
    Noting that his fuel was getting low, he descended, circled the carrier and came in for a perfect landing on the deck.
    He threw back the canopy, climbed out and jogged over to the captain. Saluting smartly he said, "Well sir, how did I do on my very first day?"
    The captain turned around, bowed politely, and replied, "You make one velly, velly selious mistake!"

    It seems that a young man volunteered for military service during World War II. He had such a high aptitude for aviation that he was sent right to Pensacola skipping boot camp.
    The very first day at Pensacola he solos and is the best flier on the base. All they could do was give him his gold wings and assign him immediately to an aircraft carrier in the Pacific.
    On his first day aboard he took off and single-handedly shot down 6 Japanese Zeroes. Then climbing up to 20,000 ft. he found 9 more Japanese planes and shot them all down, too.
    Noting that his fuel was getting low, he descended, circled the carrier and came in for a perfect landing on the deck. He threw back the canopy, climbed out and jogged over to the captain.
    Saluting smartly he said, "Well sir, how did I do on my very first day?"
    The captain turned around, bowed, and replied, "Ahh soo, you only make one velly impoltant mistake!"

    It seems that a young man volunterred for military service during
    World War II. He had such a high aptitude for aviation that he was sent
    right to Pensecola skipping boot camp.
    The very first day at Pensecola he solos and is the best flier on
    the base. All they could do was give him his gold wings and assign him
    immediately to an aircraft carrier in the Pacific.
    On his first day aboard he took off and single-handedly shot down
    6 Japanese Zeroes. Then climbing up to 20,000 ft. he found 9 more Japanese
    planes and shot them all down, too.
    Noting that his fuel was getting low, he descended, circled the
    carrier and came in for a perfect landing on the deck. He threw back the
    canopy, climbed out and jogged over to the captain. Saluting smartly he
    said, "Well sir, how did I do on my very first day?"
    The captain replied, "You make one velly impoltant mistake!"

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