Carol Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Carol's

    Hot 5 years ago

    Three men die in a car accident Christmas eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter heaven. On entering they must present something Christmassy.
    The first man searches his pocket, and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in.
    The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in.
    The third man pulls out a pair of panties.
    Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks "how do these represent Christmas?"
    Answer "they're Carol's."

    Carol was having trouble with her computer. So she called Glenn, the computer guy, over to her desk. Glenn clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem.
    As he was walking away, Carol called after him, "So, what was wrong?" And he replied, "It was an ID Ten T Error."
    A puzzled expression ran riot over Carol's face. "An ID Ten T Error? What's that... in case I need to fix it again??"
    He gave her a grin... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID Ten T Error before?" "No," replied Carol. "Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
    (She wrote...) I D 1 0 T

    IF DR SEUSS WROTE AN EPISODE OF ER - -Kerry: Now Mark, I think this ER's great, But... there are problems that can't wait! Now Benton's fine, and Carter too, But Ross and Susan just won't do! Now who do you think that we should hire, Since both of them today I'll fire? Mark: Kerry, maybe we should wait and see...Kerry: That's great Mark! I knew you would agree...Jerry: Dr. Weaver? Sorry to interrupt...But the paramedics just pulled up.Mark: Ok, I'm here. What have you got? Shep: This little boy has just been shot! His pulse is faint, his breath is weak.We did all we could to stop the leak.Riley: And this woman here, she has a broken hip... Carol: How did she fall? How did she trip? Shep: The kid's mom was getting in my hair, So I shoved her-lightly-down some stairs.Mark: Benton, Kerry! Take the mom to three! Doug and Susan! Come with me! Riley: But wait, but wait! Oh don't you see? We've got some more; one, two, and three.Kerry: You've got three more? How can this be? Explain it, tell more...

    A Claculus carol

    Hot 4 years ago

    A Calculus Carol
    written by: Denis Gannon (1940-1991)
    sung to the tune of "Oh, Christmas Tree"
    Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
    How tough are both your branches.
    Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
    To pass what are my chances?
    Derivatives I cannot take,
    At integrals my fingers shake.
    Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
    How tough are both your branches.
    Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
    Your theorems I can't master.
    Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
    My Proofs are a disaster.
    You pull a trick out of the air,
    Or find a reason, God knows where.
    Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
    Your theorems I can't master.
    Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
    Your problems do distress me.
    Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
    Related rates depress me.
    I walk toward lampposts in my sleep,
    And running water makes me weep.
    Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
    Your problems do distress me.
    Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
    My limit I am reaching.
    Oh, more...

    Dr. Seuss Episode of ER

    Hot 2 weeks ago

    IF DR SEUSS WROTE AN EPISODE OF ER - -
    Kerry: Now Mark, I think this ER's great,
    But... there are problems that can't wait!
    Now Benton's fine, and Carter too,
    But Ross and Susan just won't do!
    Now who do you think that we should hire,
    Since both of them today I'll fire?
    Mark: Kerry, maybe we should wait and see...
    Kerry: That's great Mark! I knew you would agree...
    Jerry: Dr. Weaver? Sorry to interrupt...
    But the paramedics just pulled up.
    Mark: Ok, I'm here. What have you got?
    Shep: This little boy has just been shot!
    His pulse is faint, his breath is weak.
    We did all we could to stop the leak.
    Riley: And this woman here, she has a broken hip...
    Carol: How did she fall? How did she trip?
    Shep: The kid's mom was getting in my hair,
    So I shoved her-lightly-down some stairs.
    Mark: Benton, Kerry! Take the mom to three!
    Doug and Susan! Come with me!
    Riley: But wait, but wait! Oh don't you see?
    We've more...

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