Canoe Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals.
The chief comes to them and says, "the bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot and cook you, eat you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die."
The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword."
The chief gives him a sword, he says, "Vive la France!" and runs himself through.
The Englishman says, "a pistol for me, please."
The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says,
"God save the queen!" and blows his brains out.
The New Yorker says, "gimme a fork."
The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork.
The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over - the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible.
The chief is appalled, even for a more...

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals.The chief comes to them and says, "the bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot and cook you, eat you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die."The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword." The chief gives him a sword, he says, "Vive la France!" and runs himself through.The Englishman says, "a pistol for me, please." The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says,"God save the queen!" and blows his brains out.The New Yorker says, "gimme a fork."The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork.The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over - the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible.The chief is appalled, even for a cannibal.He asks, "My God almighty, what more...

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and an American are captured by a cannibals.
The chief says to them, "I have bad news and good news for you. The bad news is, now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, and eat you. Then, we will use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is, you get to choose your own method of dying."
The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword." The chief gives him a sword, he says, "Vive la France!" and drives himself through.
The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief gives him a pistol. Pointing it at his head, he says, "God save the Queen!" and shoots himself.
The American says, "Give me a fork." Puzzled, the chief shrugs and hands him a fork. The American takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over his body. There's blood gushing out everywhere and it's a horrible sight.
Appalled, the chief asks, "What are you more...

Once upon a time a Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman were captured by the Red Indians on a prospecting trip in North America. They been tied up against their respective totem poles for a day when the Chief walked up to the Englishman, pinched the skin of his upper arm and said, "Hmmm, heap good skin, nice and thick. Will make heap good canoe. You have a last request?" "That case of gin I had when your boys caught me. I'd like that", says the Englishman. He's provided with his gin and is taken off to a teepee for his final night. The Englishman drinks two bottles of gin. In the morning the Indians dispatch him, skin him and make him into a canoe. The canoe lasts a couple of days when it tears on a rock. Next day the Chief walks up to the Scotsman, pinches the skin at the top of his arm and says, "Hmmm, heap, heap good skin, very, very thick. Will make heap, heap good canoe. You have a last request? "Ah'll huv ma whisky back", says the Scotsman. more...

Once upon a time, there was a tribe of very hostile Indians who, upon catching a person on their land, would cut the person up and make a canoe out of them. One day, three men were walking through the woods when they wandered upon the canoe-making Indian's land. They were all caught and given one death wish. The man from Italy said, "I would like one last slice of pizza before I die." So he ate his pizza and was cut up and made into a canoe. The man from America said, "I would like one last hamburger before I die." So he ate his hamburger and was cut up and made a canoe. The last man asked for a fork. "What the hell - a fork??!!! Why the hell do you want a fuckin fork???" But they got him a fork, anyways. The man took the fork and began stabbing himself with it, saying, "YER NOT MAKIN A CANOE OUT OF ME!!!"

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker are captured by a
fierce tribe. The chief approaches them and says, "The bad news
is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you and
then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you
get to choose how you die."
The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison." The chief gives him some
poison, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and drinks it down.
The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief gives
him a pistol, he points it at his head, says, "God save the
queen!" and blows his brains out.
The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork."

The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork.

The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over-the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible.

The chief is appalled, and more...

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by a fierce tribe. The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die." The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison." The chief gives him some poison, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and drinks it down. The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out. The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork." The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over --the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled, and screams, "What are you doing???" The New Yorker looks at the chief and more...