Cane Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why do teachers use a bamboo cane? Because when the cane goes bam the child goes boo!

A man and his wife of more than 50 years were rocking back and forth on the front porch. Slowly they rocked in rhythm, as this was their time to spend a few quiet moments and after years of practice they rocked to the same pace. Suddenly the wife stopped, grabbed her cane, and with a loud and hard WHACK hit her husband across the shins. His eyes watered and tears ran down his cheeks. When he finally caught his breath he gasped and asked, "What'd you do that fer?" ""That's fer fifty years of bad sex," she said. He nodded his head, but said nothing. Slowly they began to rock again. Again they kept pace. Back and forth, back and forth they rocked, until suddenly the man stopped, and picked up his cane. He reached over and with a loud, sharp WHACK, he hit his wife across the shins. As soon as her eyes quit watering and she could speak she asked, "What was that fer?" That," said her husband as he began to rock again, "is fer knowin' the more...

There is this guy who really takes care of his body. He lifts weights and jogs six miles every day.One morning he looks into the mirror and admires his body and notices that he is suntanned all over with the one exception of his penis, which he readily decides to do something about.He goes to the beach, completely undresses and buries himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he leaves sticking out.Two little old ladies are strolling along the beach, one using a cane. Upon seeing the thing sticking out of the sand, she begins to move it around with the cane. Remarking to the other little old lady, she says, "There is really no justice in the world."The other little old lady says, "What do you mean by that?"The first little old lady says, "Look at that - When I was 20 - I was curious about it. When I was 30 - I enjoyed it. When I was 40 - I asked for it. When I was 50 - I paid for it. When I was 60 - I prayed for it. When I was 70 - I forgot about it. more...

Tigers really are as big and poofy and soft as they look, and they purr like a freight train going by. You find this out by taking one for a walk. To take a tiger for a walk, you first need a tiger. Tigers fresh from the bush are not recommended for the inexperienced. What you need is one who is used to the procedure. He or she is thus liable to be merely playful, rather than actively irritated. You also need a friend, whom you really, really trust. The friend carries an apple wood cane; apple, or some other wood which will bend under stress rather than shattering. This, friend, is your backup, and the cane is his or her only tool for everything, from knocking stuff out of the way that the tiger is liable to eat, to crowd control, to hooking on and madly hanging on if things go wrong.
What YOU carry is a ten foot length of pass-link chain. This is your leash.
Pass-link chain is the stuff where the links will fit through each other. This is important. You need this so you can more...

Tigers really are as big and poofy and soft as they look, and they purr like a freight train going by. You find this out by taking one for a walk. To take a tiger for a walk, you first need a tiger. Tigers fresh from the bush are not recommended for the inexperienced. What you need is one who's used to the procedure. He or she is thus liable to be merely playful, rather than actively irritated. You also need a friend, whom you really, really trust. The friend carries an apple wood cane; apple, or some other wood which will bend under stress rather than shattering. This, friend, is your backup, and the cane is his or her only tool for everything, from knocking stuff out of the way that the tiger is liable to eat, to crowd control, to hooking on and madly hanging on if things go wrong.What YOU carry is a ten foot length of pass-link chain. This is your leash.Pass-link chain is the stuff where the links will fit through each other. This is important. You need this so you can hook on a more...

There was a little old man who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror and was admiring his body when he noticed that he was suntanned over his entire body with the exception of his penis. He decided to do something about it. So he went to the beach, undressed completely, and buried himself in the sand except for his penis.
Just then two little old ladies were strolling along the beach, one walking with a cane. Upon seeing this "thing" sticking out of the sand, she began to move it about with her cane. She remarked to the other little old lady,
"There ain't hardly no justice in this world."
The other little old lady asked, "What do you mean by that?"
"Well," the first lady said, "When I was 20, I was curious about it.
"When I was 30, I enjoyed it.
"When I was 40, I asked for it.
"When I was 50, I paid for more...

There was a little old man who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror and was admiring his body when he noticed that he was suntanned over his entire body with the exception of his penis. He decided to do something about it. So he went to the beach, undressed completely, and buried himself in the sand except for his penis.Just then two little old ladies were strolling along the beach, one walking with a cane. Upon seeing this "thing" sticking out of the sand, she began to move it about with her cane. She remarked to the other little old lady,"There ain't hardly no justice in this world."The other little old lady asked, "What do you mean by that?""Well," the first lady said, "When I was 20, I was curious about it."When I was 30, I enjoyed it."When I was 40, I asked for it."When I was 50, I paid for it."When I was 60, I prayed for it."When more...